on his sterility

When did he, God,

First discover it, 

The young one's, sterility.

Was it at his conception,

nestled their was he,

in his mother's womb?

Or you was it when the gonads, 

First formed near his heart.

In the male form,

They begin to form,

There in embryo.

They later drop,

To the present place,

Between the legs.

Did God then begin,

To hatch a plan,

To help rescue the babies.

It may have begun early,

The gently nudge, 

along the path.

First came the nanny,

Nance was mom's twin sister.

Though they came,

18 months apart.

They often appeared, 

to have the same soul.

Like two sides,

Of the same coin.

Momma and Nance,

first shared a bedroom,

then later they shared,

the babies.

His momma could make babies,

Nance loved to raise them.

He and the nanny,

Always together were they,

those first three years,

It was not a good thing.

In those days, 

tobe an unwed mom,

Still, the foundation of love and support,

she instilled in him.

This enables his bond,

with his wife and children.

Later their were summer's together,

and family reunion's too.

As a teenager he wondered, 

how he would feel,

about an infertile wife, 

like Nance.

The woman's infertility, 

would not alter his choice .

This discovering, 

his own infertility,

completed things.

He thought it better 

When they married,

to share this burden.

Then extend it not 

to another couple,

leaving two families, infertile.

When it became time, 

to rescue the babies, 

he was prepared well.

His wife and babies,

continue to bless his life.

He has become grateful,

for his infertility.

Tychbornes Elegie

Tychbornes Elegie, written with his owne hand in the Tower before his execution

My prime of youth is but a frost of cares,
My feast of joy is but a dish of paine,
My Crop of corne is but a field of tares,
And al my good is but vaine hope of gaine.
The day is past, and yet I saw no sunne,
And now I live, and now my life is done.

My tale was heard, and yet it was not told,

My fruite is falne, & yet my leaves are greene:
My youth is spent, and yet I am not old,
I saw the world, and yet I was not seene.
My thred is cut, and yet it is not spunne,
And now I live, and now my life is done.

I sought my death, and found it in my wombe,
I lookt for life, and saw it was a shade:
I trod the earth, and knew it was my Tombe,
And now I die, and now I was but made.
My glasse is full, and now my glasse is runne,
And now I live, and now my life is done.

Thy prime of youth is frozen with thy faults,
Thy feast of joy is finisht with thy fall:
Thy crop of corne is tares availing naughts,
Thy good God knowes, thy hope, thy hap and all.
Short were thy daies, and shadowed was thy sun,
T'obscure thy light unluckelie begun.

Time trieth trueth, & trueth hath treason tript,
Thy faith bare fruit as thou hadst faithless beene:
Thy ill spent youth thine after yeares hath nipt,
And God that saw thee hath preserved our Queen,
Her thred still holds, thine perisht though unspun,
And she shall live when traitors lives are done.

Thou soughtest thy death, and found it in desert,
Thou look'dst for life, yet lewdlie forc'd it fade:
Thou trodst the earth, and now in earth thou art,
As men may wish thou never hadst beene made.
Thy glorie and thy glasse are timeles runne,
And this, O Tychborne, hath thy treason done.

poem-of-the-week-chidiock-tichborne

on a longing for, Vicksburg

Why is he longing, for Vicksburg?
He dreams of her nightly, now. 

From whence comes, this desire?
Why the craving?
Why the need?
What did he leave behind, in Vicksburg? 

The last visit, was so long, ago.
He left with the one,
With whom he had danced,
For so many years. 

She had been his final companion,
assigned by his mission president,
to watch over and protect him,
on their journey home. 

21 years before that day,
she had been assigned, the same task,
by her Eternal Father. 

They had battled for so many years,
to build a lasting Eternal Relationship.

Here on the Battlefields of Vicksburg,
they began the process,
of leaving behind the old dance,
and starting a new one,
as they sought to forgive,
and be forgiven. 

She has been gone,
for a decade, now. 

He has just completed a journey
with her Eternal Companion,
and provided him with a good death,
with the assistance of his,
Eternal Companion. 

Maybe the longing, for Vicksburg,
is craving a new Eternal Dance,
with his Eternal Companion,
and a desire to reunite with, 
his Eternal Companion and their Parents.

Once more.

Thoughts on the Restoration of his church

 

1. Christ has prepared a place for me. John 14:1-3

1. In the introduction to Mere Christianity, C.S. Lewis offers this lovely image of the entrance hall to a church where we can meet to find a room we are most comfortable belonging to.  He invites us to treat each other equally no matter what room/sect we have selected, I feel an open invitation from Christ through Lewis to treat all my siblings equally as I seek to find the sect/room I am most comfortable spending eternity in. 
1. C.S.. Lewis "Mere ChristianityLinks to an external site.

As I have grown older and desired to universalize my faith I saught a great deal of Holy Envy.  I have known since I was a youth of 14 years of age that Joseph was chosen to restore the church.  But for a church to be restored it must preexist Joseph's time.   Elder John Taylor taught that there were many good and righteous men and women who lived during the apostasy and they guided and supported his church.  

John Taylor, on ancient men and the light they offered

When I was fourteen and learning church history.  I desired to seek out and find the pre-restoration prophets. Joseph Smith's maternal grandfather was a prophet who received a vision and printed a flyer of that vision. 

I knew that God must speak to other men and that he must have begun the preparation for the restoration early.  I love to study the Reformation, especially the English Reformation.  The English reformation began anew under William Tyndale and was almost completed under Henry viii.  Henry was not so much a protestant as an English Catholic. 

One of myfavorite Puritan prophets was John Milton  He was one of the rare Puritans who was not a Calvinist. I have spent decades studying his life and his works.  I love his epic poem Paradise Lost. As I study the Puritan prophets I am more convinced that God the Father reveals himself to all men and women who desire to learn of him. That is why I am so strengthened in my desire to possess holy envy. 

Let me leave you with one more reference the seldom read preface to The Great Bible an early precursor to the King James Bible and the one Henry viii commanded to be the English Bible read to his English Catholic subjects. 

Thomas Cranmer's Preface to the Great Bible

on his Ruminations

Why does he ruminate then,
on it, his testimony.

Cows are ruminates.
They eat their food more than once.

Grass is difficult to digest.
It must be eaten twice.

Once it is taken from the ground,
and stored in a pouch. 

After it has settled for a while,
it is regurgitated and then digested again.

Is a testimony like this too.

Must we take it in, first,
Let it prepare our minds.

Do we then regurgitate it,
and consume aknew.

Then when it becomes daily practice,
Are we ingesting it again?

I know I must think of my testimony many times
and learn to feed it and use and consume it again.

Then when I share it I begin to bless those who I love
with my works.

On life's cycles

What then of the little children?
Are they then not, such a blessing?

Sometimes I wondered,
when my daughter was,
a teen and angry.

If we could ever have the relationship,
we had when she was three.

For nearly a decade she would not even,
ride in a car with me, she was so angry.

Now she has her own little one.
and I see the cycle begin anew.

In a decade or more she may experience,
the same heartache and pain,
but for now, she has peace and joy,

Odin offers her. 

On the sign or signpost of the times.

Then does he look back for a sign, 
or forward for a signpost?

Many have looked forward to a sign,
and missed the post.

C.S. Lewis says the signs only come,
in the beginning.

As one matures in his growth,
the signs spread out,
and then disappear.

By the time they are gone,
you fail to notice anymore.

The signs then are like fig tree buds,
in spring, they are a sign of the time,
but they are not the end time,
or the final fruits.

The final chapter of C.S. Lewis, Surprised by Joy.

on the anguish of the devils

Thus they spoke in anger,
or was it in frustration,
the devils who had rebelled,
in the beginning.

They still maintained their, knowledge
sure knowledge, they had been there,
in the beginning, until being cast out.

This rebellion was it worth the cost, to be paid?
it cost them their brightness and their shared glory. 

Brightness can only be maintained,
in nearness to the Father,
and his reflected light. 

The second creations,
fell not less, from lack of knowledge,
but from experience and freedom of the will. 

They then learn to turn back toward the Father,
They then resubmit their will to the Father,
and then receive redemption from the Son.

As I, one of the second creations will I learn,
to resubmit my will to the Father, and receive redemption?

I want to remain in his presence and then bask in his warmth.
Thus sharing and receiving his Glory as I submit
to him, and become like him, a knew. 

See Paradise Lost Book, Book III, John Milton

What then of the Devils?

For what then of the devils?

Do they not then recognize him,
as the Son of God.

They then have a sure knowledge of his Mission
and of his works. 

What then does this knowledge then gain them.

What knowledge and additional incite,
do then they gain,
from experience.

They are so wrapped up in hate,
and envy, and in strife.

So jealous of him, were they, then.

This then to be ejected from the Father’s presence,
for a refusal to submit,
to submit their will to the will of the Father. 

Lucifer claimed to know, not, a time when he was not.

When he was not sovereign over his own spirit and will. 

His refusal to submit cost him so much,
though he retained his knowledge
and early experiences.

He began to lose his reflected light,
the reflected light of God the Father,
as the moon loses its light as she moves further away from the Sun.

I desire not to lose my reflected light,
so I move closer to the Father and feel his warmth
and reflected light as I learn to submit my will,
to the will of the Father.

What he gained then

 What does he then learn,
on this, the morning after?

This thing he now comes,
to understand, a knew,
this, then, this time.

Gethsemane had always been plan A,
not a contingency, not plan B,
but plan A.

He and the Father had studied it,
and discussed it, and approved it. 

This the plan then,
how to rescue the second,
creations.

The first had rebelled,
had been cast out,
before their bodies,
they had received.

Their choice than to follow,
Lucifer, The Son of the Morning.
The Heavens mourned their loss,
at his rebellion.

To know a thing,
is not to understand a thing.
This then to know, 

This thing he must now, experience,
to better understand,
to better become their advocate,
with the Father.

This then new experience,
is like, the experience,
of new Fatherhood.

One can study and understand,
the process, but to receive, then a child,
and then to raise a child,
this, then offers a new level, of understanding.

What then does he now, understand,
on the morning after, Gethsemane.

The Father,
had separated himself, not
than ever, from the Son.

This, then new experience,
This, then new death,
this we label, Spiritual Death.

Spiritual Death,
requires separation,
from the Father.

The Son had never sinned.
had never chosen, his ways,
over his Father's ways.

Or to say again,
the Father's ways were always,
his ways. 

These ways, then,
one and the same,
were they, always.

The Father and Son,
always, of one mind,
and one soul.

How then does the Father,
separate himself,
from the Son?

What corner of the Universe,
can he then go to,
to then be apart,
and no longer be, one soul,
with the Son.

That the Son may now experience,
Spiritual Death?

To better advocate for,
their new Creations.
To redeem now, their new,
Creations.

This thing, then he learned,
then, here this day.
The pain of separation,
of guilt and shame.

Freedom, or free will,
was always going to require,
The possibility of the choice,
other than the Fathers choice,

This then we label,
the Fathers will.

With these choices, by the new creation,
they would then learn to be more,
like the Father and the Son.

This then to learn to rejoice,
to regret the consequences of,
these new choices. 

Turning back towards the Father,
they would then, learn,
to  resubmit their will,
to the Fathers will,
their ways becoming, aknew,
the Father's ways, again.

This then always learning,
that the Father's choices would then become,
their choices, the remainder of the Eternities.

The Son now understanding their choice,
from his experiences, on Earth, and in the Garden.

This then new knowledge and experience,
and then to take upon himself,
the full price, and penalty of sin,
or separation from God The Father.

Then becoming their, advocate with the Father.

 

Steven Lynn Bassett

Born July 6, 1965

Logan Cache County Utah

Bonnie Jean Frandsen

Born May 5, 1960

Brigham City Box Elder County Utah

Married

January 6, 1990

Logan City, Cache County Utah

Logan L.D.S Temple

 

 

 

 

 

 

It began with a gentle nibbling on her ear.

This is the first line of a poem I wrote several years ago for my communications class at Brigham Young University – Idaho. It is about the first time I made love to my wife. It was on our second day of marriage; she asked me to help her make a baby.  The first day had been a long a tiring day. Bonnie had to plan and prepare her own wedding reception.  After the wedding, we cleaned up the church cultural hall, so that first night together had been a pajama night. She will forever remain the only woman to make that request.

I ask myself this question at work.  What is a marriage if it is not about companionship and not about sex? Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy sex as much as the next man and the desire to participate in it has never left me, but my wife lost the desire for sex, decades ago. I don’t know if it is because of early menopause brought on by the hysterectomy, the way I treated her early in our marriage, or just the physical fact that I am too fat for sex to be comfortable for me. The fact remains that I have remained forever attracted to her and have a desire to bless her life in whatever relationship I can maintain between us. Sometimes, this can be difficult because, after 30 minutes with her, I need to find something else to capture my attention as our interests are so divergent.

A couple of years ago, I wrote an essay, that on the surface, seemed to say my wife was not my best friend but that my sister was my best friend.  My wife and I share a best friend.  It is my younger sister Debra.  Years ago, my wife recommended that if I wanted to see a movie or go do something socially that I should take my sister. I have more fun on a date with my sister than I do with my wife. My wife knows there is no physical attraction with my sister; we have similar interests and enjoy doing the same things. There is no fear that I will begin an affair with my sister.  Neither my sister nor I desire that sort of relationship; we just enjoy doing the same things socially. Many times, when we were first married, I would take Debra and her husband on double dates so I would have someone to talk to during dinner.

But if you read between the lines of that essay, you see that Bonnie is my best friend, not because we have similar interests or because we enjoy doing the same things.  Bonnie has dedicated herself to providing me with a good life, a clean home, and two children. For two decades, she was always home when I arrived home. Bonnie knew I hated coming home to an empty house. On those rare occasions when she could not be home, she would send me on an errand or ask me to wait for her at someone’s home until she could be home with me.  Bonnie may have only done this on a dozen occasions in those twenty years.

I remember the story of the little boy who, on coming home, runs into the house to find his mother.  Once he has located her, he can go outside to play or start his chores. That is the way I felt about coming home.  I would look for my wife.  I needed to know where she was because she is the base I built my life upon.

When she discovered I was infertile, we attended some adoption classes at L.D.S. Social Services. When that did not work out, she hatched a play with her younger sister to provide us with a child. Without Bonnie, I would not have received a child; I may never have become a father without Bonnie and Nancy.

I always wanted to be a father and husband. In my teens, I began a study of early L.D.S. Church history. I was reading the 7-volume history of Joseph Smith and his restoration of the Church. It is the one edited by B.H. Roberts. I would read and journal about my experience every night. My ninth-grade teacher was teaching me to write simple one-page essays.  I would write these essays and write letters to my future wife and children.

My mom taught me from an early age about the castle on the hill in the center of town. It was a temple, built by my grandfathers, where she had knelt at an altar and promised to be my mom for all eternity.  She said because of that promise; we would be a family for all eternity.

I wanted to find a woman who would make these same promises with me at the same temple alters.

I would write and journal about what this woman would be like, and I questioned how I would find her and know her when I met her.

In my Church, we are asked not to date or court women until we turn 16; even then, we are asked to court in groups. This often includes dances and combined activities with the young women in the Ward. The first girl I dated one on one with was Linda Bullard. We had been friends when she was younger and lived next to my grandma Bassett. I lost track of her when she moved away at about ten. We met again when she was 14. This was at my bishop's house, a friend of her foster parents. She invited me to their home for Thanksgiving. This never worked out because she was too young to court.

The next girl I courted, I met on a Logan High Orchestra trip. We attended a competition in San Diego, California.  She made me lunch in her motel room.  I fell asleep afterward while watching television. This is not a great way to begin a courtship.  I was attracted to several of the orchestra girls, but none of them developed into anything more than admiration from afar.

When I was serving as Mission Recorder in the Mission Office, I learned that Terri Sue Allen was going on a mission to Austria. She was a year older than me in High School. I could start courting her after our missions. She was one of the girls I was attracted to in High School. I visited her several time on Sunday evening, and I even took her on a few dates, but she was not interested in anything more. This infatuation lasted several years. After I gave up on starting this relationship, I discovered Bonnie.

When I was 23, my roommate challenged me to get married next year. I was not dating anyone at the time. He said I could set a goal and then pray about it. This I decided to do.

I noticed a young lady in our young adult ward who had a small child. She was a bit of a wild child seeking to change her life. Her name was Cindy. I am not sure she was a baptized member of the Ward. Once, she came dressed in a dog collar when we went out. One time we went to a local bar to listen to a band.  The band was led by a friend from high school, Aaron Baugh.  It may seem weird to go to a bar and not drink just to listen to a band, but that is what we did. Thankfully I realized this relationship was not the kind of relationship I needed to get married in the temple.

I was introduced to another young lady by a member of our young adult ward.  Ginger Bright and I went out a few times; she may have been my first steady girlfriend. She asked me to stop dating her because she had been raped and could never make anyone a good wife. I was grateful that she broke things off.  The thought of waking up every morning and seeing her in bed was not pleasant.

One day my date began bugging me about a girl from his work. He said she was a return missionary and needed a good boyfriend. I was not interested in asking her out. I have learned from experience that the only way I could get him to leave me alone was to ask her out at least once. He made it seem like he had talked to her, and she wanted to go out with me.

I was working part-time at a Television Repair shop.  I had dropped out of college because my grades were terrible. One day she brought her television in for repair. She arrived in her sisters' car with her mom and her sisters' children.  I thought they looked like the Beverly Hillbillies. I called her up one day at work.  Her mom answered the phone, and I asked to speak with Bonnie.  No, the television was not repaired but would she go swimming with me that weekend.  The Young adult ward had an activity at a Hot Springs in Preston, Idaho.  I think she went out with me to stop Dad from bugging her at work about his return missionary son. The date went well, and she did look good in a bathing suit. She agreed to a second date.  I think it was to the movies. Our third date was the Herzog family reunion. I needed to introduce her to my family early.  If she did not like my family, this relationship would go nowhere. She loved my family, and they loved her. Within six months, we were married and sealed in the temple. Only later did I learn that she knew my older brother and swore she would never marry one of my fathers' sons.

I enjoy family history and love to learn about my grandfathers and grandmothers. I have a program on my cell phone that lets me see all of their histories for at least seven generations. I have read many of their life histories. It is an example of their relationship that has strengthened Bonnie and my relationship.

Thurston Larson was one of the ancestors I love to learn about.  He immigrated from Norway to a community in Iowa near Nauvoo; it was there that his family joined the Mormon church. He was part of the group forced to leave Nauvoo and immigrate west as part of the Mormon migration. He was part of the Mormon Battalion and served in the Mexican American War. He married a young lady from England. She left him for another man leaving him with several children. Later in life, they remarried in the Logan Temple. He partly did this so he could leave her with his war pension. Sometimes love means taking care of someone even when they have wronged you. He must have loved her.

 

 

 

This is my grandmother Lauretta West Byington. My mom told me her story from when I was a little boy. She died while in child delivery. She left several children for my grandfather to raise as a single father in the depression. She could have had an operation to deliver the child, but she would die. She decided to take this last child to Heaven to raise herself. She could not leave her husband with one more child to support with little or no resources.

Her daughter Sarah Elnora (Nora) Herzog raised her last child. Chancy came with her when she married my grandfather Leo Herzog.

These memories of my ancestors and their relationships have sustained my desire to build a relationship with my wife. When life becomes challenging and unbearable, I think of them, and their sacrifices give me the strength to try one more time.

I do love my wife and my children.  I want them forever.  Without my wife and our temple covenants, I also know I cannot with my mother and father and our extended family.  I will devote the remainder of my life to blessing Bonnie's life so that she will choose me again as her eternal companion when we wake on the morning of the resurrection.

 

 

 

 

On Battling the streets of Vicksburg

 I have walked the Battlefields of Vicksburg MS.  Whether those battles be from civil war days or the days of my youth.

In the fall of 1985, I lived briefly in Vicksburg MS.  I was serving as a missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. During the weeks I would walk the streets knocking on doors and speaking to people.  Searching for those who were searching for Christ.  Most of the time my search failed.  Not many people were searching for Christ.  Even though their lives were largely unfulfilled they where not dissatisfied enough to seek a change.

On the weekends or on Preparation Day, I would drive the single-lane road that covered the Vicksburg Battlefield Park. Men battled there for lives that were largely unsatisfying and unfulfilled.  In those times the Generals thought nothing of losing 50,000 American lives in one day. These men may have come from both Boston and Memphis, yet still, they were American lives.

At the close of my mission, I again walked the Battlefields of Vicksburg, this time with my mom.  I had asked her to come and bring me home at the end of my mission. My Mom and I had battled for two decades to create a relationship that was fulfilled and satisfying.  As I look back now as an old man, I think we essentially won that battle.

And again, today I see men and women, American’s, battling in the streets for their largely unsatisfying lives. We still waste far too many American lives. We continue to battle for the unsatisfying, the things that will never feed our bodies and support our souls.

How do I awaken myself and my fellow Americans to seek and find the one who will fill our lives and feed our needs?

Don Williams "Good Ole Boys like me

Jackson Browne, "Lives in the Balance

On Freedom or Advent

 “A prison cell, in which one waits, hopes - and is completely dependent on the fact that the door of freedom has to be opened from the outside, is not a bad picture of Advent”

Dietrich Bonhoeffer, letter from Tegel Prison

I sit on the edge of my bed mourning the recent death of my father and celebrating the way I offered him a good death, and this quote comes to mind. As a member of a faith community, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, that does not celebrate Advent I wonder what he is celebrating in this letter.

My first thoughts are that it must be similar to our idea of the Atonement where Christ opens the door, to our prison, by his sacrifice in the Olive Grove. There is a famous image that hangs in many of our churches. In the painting, Christ is outside knocking on a door with no knob. It symbolizes Christ knocking on the door waiting for an invitation to go inside.

Bonhoeffer wrote this letter to a friend from a Nazi Prison camp where he was sentenced for the crime of establishing independent Lutheran Seminaries. He is locked in a building awaiting the opening of a mortal prison cell. He will never be freed from this prison. He will be hung shortly before the end of World War II.

So, what is the Advent Bonhoeffer is referring to in this letter? I turn to my best research associate, Google, and ask it what is Advent and when it occurs. I learn that it begins four weeks before Christmas when the Christian Community anticipates the coming birth of the Savor. Since the time of Adam and Eve, he and his children have looked forward to their release from their confinement brought on by the eating of the fruit and the Fall of Mankind.

I wonder if I am awaiting a gift of freedom from a sense of guilt and loss. The guilt of having deprived my father-in-law of a good death, or the failure to provide for my father an environment where he would not be able to injure himself. His death was brought on by a refusal to remain his home while I was at work. He crashed his bike in the middle of the street while recovering from neck surgery. But anyone who knows my father knows the only way I could have prevented this injury was to covert our home into more of the prison then it was currently. Since the starting of the Covid-19 outbreak he has been largely confined to his home, and this has left him with very few pleasures in life.

Toward the end of his life, I knew we would be confined to this home together, me giving him his medicine every four hours and emptying urine bags, while I worked from an adjoining bedroom. We both looked forward to freedom or Advent. He from his Earthy confines and me from this sense of guilt and loss.

He passed fairly quickly after I received permission to use the Oral Morphine. Both of us enjoy freedom or Advent together. He died on a Thursday and on Friday morning I awoke and sent my boss an SMS saying I was not coming to work. I filled my car with gasoline and took a long 6-hour drive through Eastern Idaho and Western Wyoming. It was such a beautiful day for a drive and a chance to celebrate this Advent and look to the next where Christ would redeem my father and me and help us to return to my Heavenly Parents.

On Faithful, Nonconformity

Why must he then,
be faithfully nonconformant?

To believe then,
is to come to then, to know.

When they believed,
did they then conform?

Was it in the beginning,
or in the end?

Speaking of the Cowboy Jesus.
May a man have a vision of the one,
then standing next to a urinal,
in a stall at his wife's baptism?

May Christ reveal himself, to us,
in this manner?

What if the Cowboy Jesus would come riding a horse,
in his cowboy suit, consuming Camel Cigarettes?
Would we then turn him, away?

What if God disobeyed The Word of Wisdom.

Peter partook of the forbidden animals,
and converted the gentiles.

He is now a member of the Christian community,
because Peter broke his version,
of the Word of Wisdom.

Peter then faithfully nonconformed.

Once in Vicksburg, He met the one,
who dying of cancer, received a vision,
From the other,  who was testifying to the truthfulness,
of the Book of Mormon, and the restoration,
while consuming Camel Cigarettes.

To break a rule is to be disobedient.
Disobedience is not faithful nonconformity.
Lucifer rebelled and desired his own will.
Eve disobeyed, to conform to God's will.

Truly it is the rule-breakers,
who disrupt the status quo,
and create a place, for growth.

On the cowboy Jesus

The new understanding, the morning after.

Gethsemane had always been plan A,
not a contingency, not plan B,
but plan A. 

He and the Father had studied it,
and discussed it and approved it.

This is the plan then,
how to rescue the new,
creations. 

The first had rebelled,
had been cast out,
before their bodies,
they had received. 

Their choice than to follow,
Lucifer, The Son of the Morning.
The Heavens mourned their loss,
at his rebellion. 

To know a thing,
is not to understand a thing.
This then, he had come, to see. 

This thing he must now, experience,
to better understand,
to better become their advocate,
with the Father. 

This then-new experience,
is like, the experience,
of new Fatherhood. 

One can study and understand,
the process, but to receive, then a child,
and then to raise a child,
this, then offers a new level, of understanding. 

What then does he now, understand,
on the morning after, Gethsemane. 

The Father had separated himself, not
than ever, from the Son. 

This, then new experience,
This, then new death,
this we label, Spiritual Death. 

Spiritual Death, requires separation,
from the Father. 

The Son had never sinned,
had never chosen, his ways,
over his father’s ways. 

Or to say again,
the Father's ways were always,
his ways. 

These ways, then,
one and the same,
were they, always?  

The Father and Son,
always, of one mind,
and one will. 

How then does the Father,
separate himself,
from the Son? 

To what corner of the Universe?
Can he then depart?

To then separate,
and no longer be one,
with the Son. 

That the Son may now experience,
Spiritual Death?

To better advocate for,
their new Creations. 

To redeem now, their new, Creations.
This thing, then he learned,
then, here this day. 

This pain of Spiritual Death,
of this separation from the Father,
of guilt and shame,
over choices made. 

Freedom, or free will,
would always require,
the possibility of then choice,
other than the Father's choice. 

This then we label,
the Fathers will.

With these choices, by the new creation,
they would then learn to be more,
like the Father and the Son. 

This then to learn to rejoice,
or regret the consequences of,
these new choices. 

Turning back towards the Father,
they would then, learn,
to resubmit their will,
to the Fathers will,
their ways becoming, anew,
the Father's ways, again. 

This then always learning,
that the Father's choices would then become,
their choices, the remainder of the Eternities. 

The Son now understanding their choice,
from his experiences, on Earth, and in the Garden. 

This then-new knowledge and experience,
and then to take upon himself,
the full price, and penalty of sin,
or separation from God The Father. 

He then more fully becoming, for them,
their advocate with the Father.

On the smell of new life, creation

Let's make a baby, she said,
there on her waterbed.

This, then, installed last week,
when her things, they moved in.

She was the first,
and would remain, the one only,
to make such a request.

Her Dad had feared,
the roof would collapse,
on the family home,
when her trousseau,
She, removed.

Contained within, 
all ingredients needed,
to create a family,
less one husband.

Thirty years, she waited,
for this day.

It was not the first night,
but second.

The first night,
a pajama night,
had been.

The temple wedding,
the reception, in Franklin,
with family, and friends.

These had taken,
all her energy,
that first night.

That morning, he spent,
crying in the bathroom,
in the apartment. 

Left him early, that morn, she did
from, the family breakfast, 
with her best friend.

The meal offered,
on this day, by the landlady,
In this, their new home,

Early, she was needed 
to begin the preparations
for the day's events at the temple.

She thought she was offering a kindness,
He thought, she preferred, her best friend.

This gift she offered him,
more time with his family.
The ones not permitted to attend,
the wedding.

Then were the smells,
In the morning,
of the third day.

they awoke early,
to prepare for this
their new life,
together.

No time for a honeymoon.
That would never come.

He was needed,
at the repair shop.

She, a home,
to organize.

Coming home that night,
the apartment clean
a fridge with food,
dinner on the table,
and clean laundry.

These things,
his mom,
did not ...

these then, new smells,
then did surprise him,
that morn'.

Like the smell,
of the ice cream bucket,
in their friend's truck,
containing the nauseous, contents
of a night's dinner.

The one held to celebrate,
the arrival of the couples,
first child, that next spring.

the smell of new love,
and stale sex.

like two moose,
rutting in the woods,
bringing new life, to the world.

or two socks,
sitting in the bottom,
of the hamper,
waiting to be renewed,
at next week's laundry.

The gentle nibbling,
on her ear, as they sought,
to start, that new life,
together.

These are the smells,
that surprised him,
that second morning.

The large righteous, posterity,
God had promised him.

Create not together,
they would.

These babies would come,
from one, who loved, them all.

This, new source
a handmaiden, she would be.

In the Torah, a handmaiden,
is the one, to supply a new life,
when no life, create, the couple,
together.

Hagar, Ruth, and Mary,
such handmaidens,
had been to God
and the family.

In time, her sister,
then one, would be.

Still the smells, the next morn',
he would forget not.

The life, this then, they nurture,
together, this day.

This is version 2.0

She then ministered to them.

Had she then ministered to him?

The one, who was sent,
By the one who loved them all?

Such difficulty, there had always been.
Between him and the one who created him.

This the one, who created him second.
The first creator he has no memory of,
the one in the divine nursery.

She the first, sought to ease, the difficulty.
between the second creator and her son.

Once long ago, lost had been another,
In the act of creation.

All of his life he had heard the story,
of the one who died young taking her final creation,
with her into the Eternities.

She then leaving behind her first six creations.
This then for the father to raise,
in the middle of a depression.

This then was his great-grandmother,
his mothers, mothers, mother.

Did his grandmother then return to minister to them,
to heal the void, between them now?
At the request, of the Eternal Mother,
The one from the divine Nursery?

His mom so young had she been,
when created him, she.
So young and inexperienced,
tobe then she was, still learning.

This angel, then sent, to minister,
his mothers, mothers, mother.
To heal the void, between them two.

This is the thought that then comes to him,
as he fears the loss of the grandmothers,
from the bitterness, and failure to forgive his mother,
for the mother she has ceased to be.

So, he knows now then, the angel sent to minister,
To bind up the wounds and seal the void,
between them now.

Lauretta West Byington
5 June 1893- 7 May 1924

 

 

I thank God, whom I serve, as my ancestors did, with a clear conscience, as night and day I constantly remember you in my prayers.  Recalling your tears, I long to see you, so that I may be filled with joy.  I am reminded of your sincere faith, which first lived in your grandmother Lois and in your mother Eunice and, I am persuaded, now lives in you also.  (2 Timothy 1:3-5 (NIV))

He sent angels, divine messengers, to bless His children, reassure them that heaven was always very close and that His help was always very near.  (Jeffrey R. Holland October Conference 2008)

The Lord builds up Jerusalem;
He gathers together the outcasts of Israel.
He heals the brokenhearted
And binds up their wounds. (Psalm 147:2-3)

"With malice toward none with charity for all with firmness in the right as God gives us to see the right let us strive on to finish the work we are in to bind up the nation's wounds, to care for him who shall have borne the battle and for his widow and his orphan ~ to do all which may achieve and cherish a just and lasting peace among ourselves and with all nations." Lincoln's Second Inaugural Address

 

My wife the prophetess

1. Deborah was a prophetess.  She like my wife, daughter, and sister have an important place in building the kingdom of God.  Judges 4:4

In the last few months, I have been reading and searching the scripture to understand the powers my wife and sister share with their Heavenly Mother.  I remember when the children were babies and my wife would pray over them as she placed them in a cool basin of water when they were ill or teething.  My wife can serve a mission and serve in the temple without formal ordination.  These are things I could not do. A few months ago I wrote this essay on some of my conclusions. 

I have learned to know and to appreciate how my wife is a prophetess and how the powers She shares with her Heavenly Mother bless our family. 

On his Wife's Heavenly Power

Coming to terms with my racist past

 Does the fact that a man is a racist slave-holding person preclude him from being a righteous god-fearing man seeking to redeem Zion.

In the United States today there are men and women forming mobs and tearing down statues.  Most of these statues are of men who at some point in their lives owned slaves. Among these statues are men who lived and died seeking to create the world we now inhabit. Men like Thomas Jefferson, and Francis Scott Key, and Ulysses Grant. Grant by the way emancipated his one slave before emancipation was an acceptable thing and this caused him trouble with his in-laws.

For a long time, there has been a need to recognize and come to terms with our racist heritage. Many of my personal heroes have a racist past. Let me tell you about one racist slaveholder from my past.

This man was a Methodist preacher who turned to full-time missionary work when his wife died and left him with two young children. He left his children with his best friend's wife and went on preaching circuits spreading the Methodist faith with no purse or script.

He later discovered and helped promote a major American Religion. He served two missions to England and was responsible for bringing tens of thousands of English converts to America to strengthen this society. He led tens of thousands of religious refugees from the United States to form a new society in the Great Basin of the then Mexican Territory.

After he founded this territory, he worked to create slave laws protecting the right to own slaves in this territory. As a trustee for this faith, for a short time, he became the owner of at least one slave. As a religious and civil leader, he worked to hold the United States Army in central Wyoming, for a winter, to further his political and religious agenda.

He worked for and actively pursued a policy that prevented negro men and women from holding priesthood office in that faith.  That policy continued for nearly 130 years.

Knowing his racist past would you join a mob to tear down his statue?

Occasionally the people we know, and love does things that we do not approve of. My relationship with my mother was troubling and always a dance. She made many mistakes as she learned to be a better mom. It is only after I became a father that I learned to understand some of the choices she made.  Because my mom made many mistakes and did many things to harm her children in the process of learning to be a mom should I then take all of her pictures and burn them?

I think we need to use the same hindsight with our leaders and their racist past that I have used to understand my mother’s choices and mistakes.  I have learned from her mistakes.  I am learning to avoid the errors in parenting that she committed.

This racist Methodist preaching I am speaking about is Brigham Young, who as trustee in trust for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints did hold title to at least one slave. This slave had been donated to the church by one of the Mississippi Saints who donated it in partial payment of their tithing.  Green Flake was one of the vanguard 144 pioneers who first arrived in the great basin area of the future Utah Territory in 1847. During the winter of 1857, Brigham Young did capture and hold the United States Army in the Fort Bridger area of the Wyoming Territory while he sought a negotiated settlement between the Mormon Church and the United States Government. 

"Truth Be Told"

Lie number one: You're supposed to have it all together
And when they ask how you're doin', just smile and tell them, "Never better"
Lie number two: Everybody's life is perfect except yours
So keep your messes and your wounds and your secrets safe with you behind closed doors

But truth be told
The truth is rarely told, no...

I say, "I'm fine, yeah, I'm fine, oh, I'm fine, hey, I'm fine"
But I'm not, I'm broken
And when it's out of control I say it's under control
But it's not and You know it
I don't know why it's so hard to admit it
When bein' honest is the only way to fix it
There's no failure, no fall
There's no sin You don't already know
So let the truth be told

There's a sign on the door, says, "Come as you are" but I doubt it
'Cause if we lived like that was true, every Sunday mornin' pew would be crowded
But didn't You say church should look more like a hospital?
A safe place for the sick, the sinner and the scarred, and the prodigals, like me

But truth be told, the truth is rarely told
Oh, am I the only one who says...

"I'm fine, yeah, I'm fine, oh, I'm fine, hey, I'm fine"
But I'm not, I'm broken
And when it's out of control I say it's under control
But it's not and You know it
I don't know why it's so hard to admit it
When bein' honest is the only way to fix it
There's no failure, no fall
There's no sin You don't already know
So let the truth be told

Can I really stand here unashamed
Knowin' that Your love for me won't change?
Oh God, if that's really true
Then let the truth be told

I say, "I'm fine, yeah, I'm fine, oh, I'm fine, hey, I'm fine"
But I'm not, I'm broken
And when it's out of control I say it's under control
But it's not and You know it
I don't know why it's so hard to admit it
When bein' honest is the only way to fix it
There's no failure, no fall
There's no sin You don't already know
Yeah, I know
There's no failure, no fall
There's no sin You don't already know
So let the truth be told

on supporting the temple

 1.      The sons of Kohath were given the assignment to watch over and protect the Tabernacle Numbers 4:15

1. In the center of our town, there is a temple built by my great-grandfathers, great-grandfather. His name is Alexander McQueen. Now to honor him I attend and care for his temple.  I do not do the laundry or mow the lawn.  I maintain it by paying a faithful tithe and offering. Because I am grateful for his sacrifice I support the upkeep of the temple.  My brothers and sisters maintain the temple by paying faithful tithes and offerings. 

This is how we show gratitude to my grandfather for building us a temple. 

Alexander McQueen Family