The choice

Why choose,
to end a life.

Mistakes he had made,
and been forgiven.

Then came, new life,
a wife, and 2 children.

Still the demons haunted him.

The seizures, waking,
have returned again.

He tried, so hard,

To begin life, anew.

I have had dark hours too.

I know the despair felt, that day.

Luckily no access to guns, did I have,
on my day.

Others live with our choices, too.

Now two babies have no father.
The world has one more widow.

And I am a loss,
to explain, the choice.

On creating midrash

She had told him,
The young life, had been wasted?

Or did she.

He ask momma,
Why his daughter died.

His daughter being less then 6 months.

Crib death they called, it.
No explanation, no answer.

He ask Momma,
Why.

To help you be a man.

He said I am not a man, I have not changed.

He heard, "Your daughters life's was wasted"

He then became a man, and changed.

This is the story, I heard,
as I studied,
at his table.

Two lives improved, by her short life.

Now I tell you the story.

This is the power of myth,  as it becomes midrash.

The poems

To this then the poems.

Come forth unannounced
Unaware.

I call them forth, naught.

From whence do the come?

Come forth thence do, they.

To bless, and to share.

Thus,
therapy, could be they?

Share them, do I,
Then.

In hopes to bring forth,
The light.

For all to share.

This, Then, be Sacred

It was oil, olive,
Then was it, naught.

Together, they nelt,

Together, they prayed.

How does one seek forgiveness,
of the self.

To then hallow, the vulgar, choice.

To remove,
this, then, the pain.

Thus, to bless the oil,
and then the act.

To make this, then, sacred, the choice.

To the moment they shared.

That peace may come,
and the pain,
be no more.

For to remove, is to restore,
and safeguard life.

This then, the choice, he made.

When to plant, the pot.

Nephi had done it.
Many prophets did it
Defied the culture
To save a life.

Now we plant the pot.

It is a risk.
The risk we bare.

He who plants, 24 years.

We who grow, our home, and freedom.

We risk it all.
For the one we luv

Now to bare fruit.

The cure it came.

To share another day.
With the one we luv.

Acts 10:9-16

The blanket,
it was spread forth,
on the roof top.

All the unclean food.

"Take eat this is my body"

Three times the command was repeated.

Then the meal was removed.

Three times he had denied Christ, before.

He had been ever faithfull,
Ever since.

But this seamed a bridge, too far.

He pondered thus.

Can anything be impure,
What God has made pure.

When the men came,
from Cornelius,
he journied, thus.

Have I denied,
the pure,
unpure.

The pot was planted,
the pure,
unpure.

The prisoner, in his jail cell.
The unloved.
The unwashed.

To have not left,
The cave.

To leave behind the burden,
the expectation of his culture.

To be with, and strengthen,
the impure.

Those with heavy burdens.

This was his task,
and desire.

The scares, He bore.

The knife, it was not sharp,

Just enough,

Serrated, thus it was,

Small in size.

Designed to portion a steak

into smaller pieces.

It had rested on the table.

Left from a previous meal.

It was a tough morning,

leading to a tough day.

One was dying, was she?

and one was taking the covenants,

of marriage.

Both performed,

one the marriage,

one the promise.

He was uncertain of his place, in both lives.

Luck had it there were no guns in the house.

Still,

Would they really care in the morning?

There was a lot of blood,

Still..

On Plato's Cave

Success and family was what, then he saught, always.

Long lived they in the cave.

The images that surrounded, them.

Were they real, or naught.

The others, outside, had such expectations.

He wanted to be with them too.

To be with them, this he could naught.

So he lived two lives, between the real and the cave.

Someday he would be naught.

Maybe his God would judge him naught.

But leave them, in the cave, he could naught.

Until they freed themselves.

Was it not the cave, Plato's cave.

Escape it once he did, almost.

But return then he must.

They could not see the real for the image.

For to leave them he could bare, naught.

So this then, was his task.

To be with them, and strengthen them, until they freed their own chains.

Then together they would leave the cave...

Tobe their naught.

On Mr Frodo and Gethsemane.

What be their task.
Here in the garden.

Know they not then, this burden.

Come to gloat, had they now,
Or only to mourn, this one.

If this be the failure, final.
All will be lost.

How to strengthen him then.
Thus now they confired.

This burden, could carry, they not,
For man
For God.

The blood it flowed, drop by drop.

Once before their had been such a scene.

High on Mount Doom, in Mordor, a task almost too much, for this one to bare.

Mr Frodo, all spent from burden, thus carried.

It had all seamed in vain.

Till came the friend, who walked the path.

Samwise Gamgee

"Come, Mr. Frodo!' he cried. 'I can't carry it for you, but I can carry you."

So do angel's imitate men and hobbits.

This lesson they share.

On Celtic Bishops.

What of the Celtic Bishop's.

Born so long ago.

How long did they preserve, the church?

... after the fall of the empire.

This long time, they served humanity, and transmitted culture, and learning.

St. Patrick's grandfather was one.

How they loved and cherished their wives.

To nourish the church in the wilderness,
was it not, their lives vocation.

Till in her beauty, she came forth, in all her strength, and magistry.

From whence doth it come?

The poetry.

Like a fountain.
A Volcano ,
A perrenial flower, that fails to bloom ,

... when neglected.

Long do'th it question me.

Like a Jungian apparition. 

... uncalled for it comes.

To the answers I seek,

Only questions, are provided.

Like a twisted, Douglas Adams dream.

The answer is 42, but what of the question.

Still together we dance,
The poetry, and I.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carl_Jung

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Douglas_Adams

Douglas Adams wrote "The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy". In the latest version we learn the Earth was created by the mice to learn the eternal question, the answer, to which, is 42.

On Being Vulgar ...

I am a Vulgar man.
Less common with the coming years.

I learned to swear, like Brother Brigham.

Life does that to you.

This life happens, as you are making other plans.

Promised a large righteous posterity, by one who knew I was sterile.

Never to create new life in this world.

How does one become less common, more vulgar.

Feeling less mormon, and  more christlike each day.

I planted the pot.

I adopted two children from one who could create new life, special gift, from one who loves our family.

A gift, I hope to repay someway.

I helped to prosecute a young man who misused his reproductive powers.

Then purchased a van to visit him for several years.

To let him know he was not his crime.

This commoness
This Vulgarness

Trade, with the coming years.

Till I become less like me,
and more like him.

On the light of Christ

What of them, the Other,
Who never learned his name,

nor sacred covenants made.

Dammed to hell,
thus we're told.

Alvin Smith was the Other,
so was the Buddha.

Both came before the restoration,

of all things.

What is this Light Of Christ.

A power sent, and a gift offered,

To guide Them, to him, and lead, 

Them, to the Father.

Then comes the temple, and a chance,

to offer, the covenants to all.

The past, and the future children of God.

Prepared are they now, for his presence, and to preside in the Divine Council.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alvin_Smith_(brother_of_Joseph_Smith)#Death

On the importance of tolerance ..

They said I must be, tolerant,
of the Other .

The Catholics were tolerant,
of the Protestants.

The Whites were tolerant,
of the Blacks.

The Missourian's were tolerant,
of the Mormon's.

I am told, tolerance,
will be enough.

How do I learn to need ...

the Other?

The newly married,

same gendered couple,
on the back row.

The One addicted to,
Porn,
Booze,
Food,
Sex,

The unloved.
The unwashed.

The Bishop unwilling to accept,
the one child, who no longer believes.

I, Myself, 

Who now struggles,
to hold to a belief,
I have luved from youth.

My Momma has taught me to luv,
the Other.

Can we learn to embrace, and need ...

The other,

till we come,
to a greater,
understanding,

Of the Other, like me.

Does the song remember when?

Does the song?

Know when, to remember,

Or when,  to forget.

Memories of Momma, on my mind.

When will come the children.

To long for them we do.

Do I remember the future, or is it the past.

This time too, shall pass.

This road to come, long it is,

Here I am in Momma's van.

Trisha Yearwood,  playing on the tape deck.

"The Song Remembers When".

When to love, when to cry, and when to try again.

To still the anger, then be one/won

He was angry with one of them.
With which one, he was not certain.

He had kissed them both.

In his life, their had only been two.

One gave him life, the other shared his bed.

Why spread the anger at the first, to the second?

The second had urged him, to settled the anger , with the first.

He was unwilling, to do the same.

So it spoiled his time, with the second.

Before the death of the first, their was reconciliation, and real forgiveness.

Now how to return to the second, to diminish the void, he created.

... this then is his quest.

On the cemetery, at Grants Ward.

I went to the cemetery today,
in Grants Ward, to see if Momma, was there.

Momma and I had been there, together, many times before.

This was not the first place I checked.

I  First, went to the one in Swan Lake.

The place of her Grandma and Grandpa's remains.

The baby they lost, and grandmas sister, they were not there.

My family has lived with death, for so long.

In ten years grandma lost,
Nada, Ken, Grandpa, Fred, and a grandson too, Willard's boy.

I lost my wife, too then, nearly,

This cure then, to be grateful for ...

There are wild roses near the graves, in Grants Ward.

My family still comes each spring,
to clean the graves.

Long gone but not forgotten.

My Grandmas's favorite song was My Wild Irish Rose.

My Aunt's and Uncle's sang it each year, at the family reunion.

Their tuning was wild, like the wild Irish rose.

Still, I felt the love in their hearts as they sang for their parents.

I have some of the wild roses, in my yard.

From the cemetery, in Grants Ward. 

Like the wild Irish rose, that was my grandmother.

Transplanted they are, like the memories, of my Mom.

The experiences with Mom, are like the roses, a little bit wild.

They grow best when left to their own, unmolested, but remembered.

Grants Ward is a geographical designation,

Between Swan Lake and Downy Idaho.

Bannock County, Idaho

Latitude: 42.4012694

Longitude: -112.0380434

It is the place my Grandparents homesteaded,

before they lost the baby and moved to Logan Utah.

It is near the Byington Family Grave site.
http://www.rootsweb.ancestry.com/~idbancem/downey_area_cemeteries/grant_ward/grant_ward_cemetery.htm

On the other, moms

She wanted to be his mom,
She did.

They all did.

All of the Aunt's
Wanted to be his mom.

He luved his Mom
Or so he thought.

But still tobe angry,
And very angry, still.

If he choose an aunt, to be his mom,
life would be better, so much better.

But which grandma, would he lose.

Thinking of the lost husbands, and babies, too.

The ones they had lost, to create what he was,

He will pay the price, to forgive and be forgiven.

That his children may have a father, they may choose to honor.

This then, is, his prayer.

To the end of, his days.

On the importance, of the poetry.

It was long his dream,
To write the history.

He tried once,
So long ago.

The journals in high school.

The letters to his children.

They were too complete,
in his brokeness.

How to help you to luv them,
He saught.

Then comes the poetry.

Poetry is broken, and incomplete.

This is the blessing, and a way, to show,

The luv.

A man and his murse ...

Why does a man need purse?

I knew a man, who had a jewelry box.

I have been accused, of being that man,
Little Eddie Jr.

In my purse, I have 5 Android devices,
And their chargers.

O' and my wallet too.

It was purchased for a small netbook,
But now it is a murse, a man's purse.

We go many places, together.

I always have it nearby.

Once in the hospital, I had no charger.

Now like a good Eagle Scout, I am always prepared.

It has a spare battery powered charger, two bluetooth headphones.,
And lots of good USB cables .

I hope you are prepared with a murse, or a jewelry box.

On Mommas, twin sister

Momma had a twin sister,
they were born 18 months apart.
Where one would go, the other would follow

for years they shared a bedroom,
and a bed too.

Momma had the babies
her sister helped to raise them.

having three children,
in a short time,
momma needed help, with the babies.

momma, took her sister, on their vacations
they shared a bed then too.
momma was in the middle,
just so daddy's eyes did not roam too far.

they luved the babies together,
momma and her sister.

in the summer's, after her marriage
momma sister would take a child, for a week or two.

her sister ached for her unborn child
momma's children helped fill the void.

I luved momma and I luved her sister,
They really completed each other.

On making a baby ...

Let's make a baby,
She said.

It was not the first night,
But the second.

The first had been a pajama night.

Still he had not sleeped with a woman,
Except momma, her momma, or an aunt.

The first day was a busy day,
The wedding breakfast,
Temple ceremony, when he nearly fainted, and the wedding reception.

So the first night was a pajama night.

She was the first to kiss him,
Except momma.

That second night, they did try, to make a baby.

Little did they know, He could never create new life.

Still they luved to try.

The babies did come, send from another who luved them all.

He so luved his Eve.
So times seam tough and life is a struggle ,
Still he knows she was the first and will remain the only,

To ask him, to help her, to make a baby.

On the first, broken, family.

Eve luved Adam,

She remembered the time before,

Before, when she was part of him.

Not a finger, or a toe, but a rib.

Always their beside him.

She luved the warm feeling.

To be a part of him.

Then come'th the separation.

No more together they are.

Then came the fruit.

And the knowledge.

They could be more together.

Adam wanted God.

Eve wanted Adam, and his babies.

Then, the separation, from God.

But still the joy would come.

Then the babies, Caine and Able.

Jealous was Cain of Able.

With Cain's choice, came death, to the world.

And sorrow to the family.

Where to go now, this first, broken , family.

How to recover Joy from such sorrow.

Tears and service and luv and forgiveness.

Then comes the gift of Seth.

Joy doth then return.

And many more children, to follow.

Till they be one again.

J. Golden on thinking for ourselves.

... "but all the men in the United States cannot prevent a man from thinking. There are not Apostles enough in the Church to prevent us from thinking, and they are not disposed to do so; but some people fancy because we have the Presidency and Apostles of the Church they will do the thinking for us. There are men and women so mentally lazy that they hardly think for themselves. To think calls for effort, which makes some men tired and wearies their souls. Now, brethren and sisters, we are surrounded with, such conditions that it requires not only thought, but the guidance of the Holy Spirit. Latter-day Saints, you must think for yourselves. No man or woman can remain in this Church on borrowed light." (J. Golden Kimball. April 1904 General Conference)

To be grateful, and the anger, be still ...

She, was dying.

Dying She, was ?

Or, was He ?

To grateful, for the small things,

Where, they?

A full hair of head .

A Hair Stylist, with real talent.

Two children, and a husband, she luved.

Angry he was, VERY VERY VERY ANGRY !

She was the center of his universe.

Talk about it, he could not .

Why?

Then came the one who brought the cure.

... AND ANGRY, VERY ANGRY, was he, still.

So, very still.

Talk, he could not, and why, they knew not.

Yet, came the cure, the full head of hair.

A full remission.

... and now to the rebuilding, of a life.

To let the anger, be still.

On their brokenness

Broken, the doll was,
broken, and luved.

It was a walker.
A real marvel of its' age.

Damaged, it was ...

I know not, when.

I remember it from my youth.

It, with its' sister,
hung on mommas wall.

Luved them, she did,
Luved us too.

Momma cared for the dolls,
as she cared for us.

When I see the dolls,
I remember to care, 

for the damaged,
the forgotten,
the unluved,
and the broken.

For Momma and I were broken too.

The church, universal, nourished, in the wilderness

 "Behold, I do not bring it to destroy that 

which they have received,  but to build it up. 

And for this cause have I said: 

If this generation harden not their hearts, 
I will establish my church among them.  
Now I do not say this to destroy my church, 
but I say this to build up my church; 

Therefore, whosoever belongeth to my church need not fear,  for such shall inherit the kingdom of heaven."

  "And the woman fled to the wilderness, 
where she had a place prepared by God 
where she would be sustained... "

how long did she linger there,
their in the wilderness

nestled by the fire,
     of his writers and poets.

concealed was she,  there, nourished. 

when to come forth,
and replenish the earth?

   Milton unearthed her,
concealed among the poets.

"Say Heav'nly Muse, shall not thy sacred vein [ 15 ]
Afford a present to the Infant God?
Hast thou no vers, no hymn, or solemn strein,
To welcom him to this his new abode,"

The Devils built a city in Hell,

called it Pandemonium.

Did they arrive in Hell, 

or bring it with them.

Let no one wonder, 

the truth they uncovered, their.

The truth of their own damnation.

 "And dig'd out ribs of Gold. Let none admire [ 690 ]
That riches grow in Hell; "

 "That underneath had veins of liquid fire  [ 701 ] ...

Severing each kind, and scum'd the Bullion dross:"

    Let no man question, then,

    How he reached his church, 

    and nourished her, in the wilderness

    till revealed again,
    in the wilderness, she remained,

    to be brought forth .
    in all her restoration, and glory.

(The Doctrine and Covenants, Section 10:50-55)

(Revelations 12:6)

(John Milton, On the Morning of Christ's Nativity) Compos'd 1629

(John Milton, Paradise Lost Book i)

Elousia, In her womb ..

"... with mighty wings outspread, 

Dove-like sat'st brooding on the vast Abyss, 

And mad'st it pregnant:" 

Their I rest ...
In her womb.

The bosom of the father.

Like the great egg. 

I rest ...

To be embraced, and luved.

To come forth, and return.

When ready I am.

She "upbraideth not"

My false starts.

But looks forward to, when, 

I fly.

John Milton, Paradise Lost Book i

On RACHAM : Hebrew, mercy, bosom, womb

Papa: The Shack, William Paul. Young

Elousia; the name that  Paul gives to the feminine define.

On the Bastardization of English by the vulgar folk ...

       

       "Zeal to promote the common good, whether it be by devising anything ourselves, or revising that which hath been laboured by others, deserveth certainly much respect and esteem, but yet findeth but cold entertainment in the world. It is welcomed with suspicion instead of love, and with emulation instead of thanks: and if there be any hole left for cavil to enter, (and cavil, if it do not find a hole, will make one) it is sure to be misconstrued, and in danger to be condemned. This will easily be granted by as many as know story, or have any experience. For, was there ever any thing projected, that savoured any way of newness or renewing, but the same endured many a storm of gainsaying, or opposition? A man would think that Civility, wholesome Laws, learning and eloquence, Synods, and Church-maintenance, (that we speak of no more things of this kind) should be as safe as a Sanctuary, and out of shot, as they say, that no man would lift up the heel, no, nor dog move his tongue against the motioners of them. For by the first, we are distinguished from brute beasts lead with sensuality; By the second, we are bridled and restrained from outrageous behaviour, and from doing of injuries, whether by fraud or by violence; By the third, we are enabled to inform and reform others, by the light and feeling that we have attained unto ourselves; Briefly, by the fourth being brought together to a parley face to face, we sooner compose our differences than by writings which are endless; And lastly, that the Church be sufficiently provided for, is so agreeable to good reason and conscience, that those mothers are holden to be less cruel, that kill their children as soon as they are born, than those nursing fathers and mothers (wheresoever they be) that withdraw from them who hang upon their breasts (and upon whose breasts again themselves do hang to receive the Spiritual and sincere milk of the word) livelihood and support fit for their estates. Thus it is apparent, that these things which we speak of, are of most necessary use, and therefore, that none, either without absurdity can speak against them, or without note of wickedness can spurn against them.  

Yet for all that, the learned know that certain worthy men have been brought to untimely death for none other fault, but for seeking to reduce their countrymen to good order and discipline; and that in some Commonwealths it was made a capital crime, once to motion the making of a new Law for the abrogating of an old, though the same were most pernicious; And that certain, which would be counted pillars of the State, and patterns of Virtue and Prudence, could not be brought for a long time to give way to good Letters and refined speech, but bare themselves as averse from them, as from rocks or boxes of poison; And fourthly, that he was no babe, but a great clerk, that gave forth (and in writing to remain to posterity) in passion peradventure, but yet he gave forth, that he had not seen any profit to come by any Synod, or meeting of the Clergy, but rather the contrary; And lastly, against Church-maintenance and allowance, in such sort, as the Ambassadors and messengers of the great King of Kings should be furnished, it is not unknown what a fiction or fable (so it is esteemed, and for no better by the reporter himself, though superstitious) was devised; Namely, that at such a time as the professors and teachers of Christianity in the Church of Rome, then a true Church, were liberally endowed, a voice forsooth was heard from heaven, saying: Now is poison poured down into the Church, etc. Thus not only as oft as we speak, as one saith, but also as oft as we do anything of note or consequence, we subject ourselves to everyone's censure, and happy is he that is least tossed upon tongues; for utterly to escape the snatch of them it is impossible. If any man conceit, that this is the lot and portion of the meaner sort only, and that Princes are privileged by their high estate, he is deceived. As the sword devoureth as well one as the other, as it is in Samuel [2 Sam 11:25], nay as the great Commander charged his soldiers in a certain battle, to strike at no part of the enemy, but at the face; And as the King of Syria commanded his chief Captains to fight neither with small nor great, save only against the King of Israel: [1 Kings 22:31] so it is too true, that Envy striketh most spitefully at the fairest, and at the chiefest. David was a worthy Prince, and no man to be compared to him for his first deeds, and yet for as worthy as act as ever he did (even for bringing back the Ark of God in solemnity) he was scorned and scoffed at by his own wife [2 Sam 6:16]. Solomon was greater than David, though not in virtue, yet in power: and by his power and wisdom he built a Temple to the Lord, such a one as was the glory of the land of Israel, and the wonder of the whole world. But was that his magnificence liked of by all? We doubt of it. Otherwise, why do they lay it in his son's dish, and call unto him for easing of the burden, Make, say they, the grievous servitude of thy father, and his sore yoke, lighter. [1 Kings 12:4] Belike he had charged them with some levies, and troubled them with some carriages; Hereupon they raise up a tragedy, and wish in their heart the Temple had never been built. So hard a thing it is to please all, even when we please God best, and do seek to approve ourselves to everyone's conscience."

(Preface King James Version in the edition of 1611)

This is good standard 15th century English.  I can understand very little of it.  It is not the language of the common or Vulgar people.  It was written in a time when the language of the court was French or Latin.  The church was unwilling to produce a Bible in English because it was doubted the English Language had sufficient linguistic capacity to convey difficult theological subjects.

A generation before, William Tyndale began a project to demonstrate that the language of the vulgar, or common, English could transmit gospel teachings. 

  "The beginning of the Gospel of Jesus Christ the son of God.  As it is written in the prophets, Behold, I send my messenger before thy face which shall prepare thy way before thee; The voice of a crier in the wilderness, Prepare ye the way of the Lord, make his paths straight. John did baptise in the wilderness, and preach the baptism of repentance, for the remission of sins.  And all the land of Jewry, and they of Jerusalem went out unto him, and were all baptised of him in the river Jordan, confessing their sins.  John was clothed with camel's hair, and with a girdle of a beast's skin about his loins. And he did eat locusts and wild honey, and preached, saying, "A stronger than I cometh after me, whose shoe latchet I am not worthy to stoop down and unloose. I have baptised you with water: but he shall baptise you with the holy ghost." 

  (Mark Chapter 1)

This is a good standard street level language of the English People.  It is easily read with rhyme and meter.

The Language of the English is a combination of Language of the Germans, Angles, Celts, and the Norman French conquerors.  It was ruled by Rome for 300 years but it did not develop a Latin Language.

I know we often disparage the change in the English Language as the common folk create, change and mold it.  Twitter, texting, and Facebook have strongly shaped the language in the current generation.  Even as The Tyndale Translation and English Common Book of Prayer shaped and molded 16-17th century English.

The ability of the English Language to shape and mold itself to the needs of the rising generation while retaining its ability to communicate ageless thought is part of why it is the dominant language in the world today.

The drink, ... with a friend.

In it comes, out it goes.

A confession, or renewal.

The invitation.

To return, thus, it is.

Now to renew, the journey.

Hope of a rebirth, of the covenant.

Thus a trade, a restoration.

The end, of the beginning.

5-28-2017

On the power of myth.

"Go back to the darkest roots of civilization and you will find them knotted round some sacred stone or encircling some sacred well. People first paid honour to a spot and afterwards gained glory for it. Men did not love Rome because she was great. She was great because they had loved her." (G.K. Chesterton, Orthodoxy)

 The stories of Luke Skywalker or Han Solo are the sacred myth of my generation. Though set "Long ago and far, far away" They are the sacred fire we built our culture around.

Another is the story of Adam and Eve. This story has transformed my relationship with my mother. Thus the power of this myth.

Eve was a woman who desired to have children. In her desire to have children, she became broken. In this brokenness we now live. Eve sacrificed her presence with God so I could be born.

My mom and I have a difficult relationship. We are both broken souls. It is the power of the Eve myth that rebuilds our relationship. I value  the sacrifices offered by her,  her mother, and her mother's mother, to create my life. This gratitude has driven me, to restore my relationship, with my mother.

These sacrifices , are not in theory.  These sacrifices, are in fact. My mother's family have collected these stories. I know their names and birthplace to at least 7 generations. I have their stories. The babies, they lost. The husbands they buried. They are real to me.

Thus, the power of the Eve myth to shape and forge, mine and my mothers relationship. 

These myths tie me to my mothers, for all time.

When she, was part, of him ...

their she was, in him, Adam
did he not see her.

she was a part of him,
but he was alone.

all of creation had a companion,
he did not, or so it seamed, to him.

then came the separation,
now she was not part of him.

now he was not alone,
or so it seamed to him.

now, through all eternity,
he must strive,
to return,
to when, she was part of him.

To'be less, is more. ver 2.0

To be grateful is,
To be grateful for.

This more, I seek,

Then, less I am,

T'is this I seek

To be less ...

then, more.

The more I am,
The more I seek.

The more I seek,
The less I am.

Till then I am,
To'be no more.

I will seek,
Then less of more.

To then I 'come,
All the more.

it is a twilight

a ris'n or a setting mourn

no more they mourn
when gone, i am
who will mourn
in the mor'n
or in eve,
the twilight
is it a rising
or  a setting mourn.

This, new feeling, so long ago.

What was it she said,
...this, now, so long ago.

It seamed new, and fresh,
...this, now, so long ago.

this feeling was old, yet new

this feeling, of yester-year

was it lost,
or was it found

This feeling, I never knew,
...this, now, so long ago.

Steven Bassett
April 2015

To be, less is more.

To be grateful is,
To be grateful for.

This more I seek.
Then is it more?

The more I become,
The less I am.

T'is this I seek
To be less, then more..

The more I am,
The more I seek.

The more I seek,
The less I am.

Till then I am,
To'be no more.

I will seek,
Then less of more

To then I 'come,
All the more.

Steven Basset
April 2015

The choice, She made.

She luv'd him,
but why.

This then, the many years.

If luv is a verb ...

Then luv him, she did.

Many actions, through the years.

He knew, no children,
might be their lot.

Still ...

She luved him.

Accepted her, he did ...
only to discover, it was,
he not her.

Then came the gift, of the two.

But would he be,
the one, she choose, always ...
,to luv.

This then, must be ...
,his choice, to serve her, then ...
he must, and choose

This luv, daily.

Still, know I not.

Still know I not,

The poetry,
Comes forth.

Long did it rest,
Rest, in My soul

Then whence,

 was it, still.

Their it,  to lie, 

the truth, it no more.

Then more, no less,

It ly'th,  no more.

The Talent, To cultivate.

To be'still my soul,
Come'th it now..

Invited I not,
yet come'th, then forth.

This talent, long buried ...
lay dormant it still.

To this, then the garden...
the garden, my soul.

Tragedy, brought for'th,
To cultivate, thus,

This, to the muze,
be grateful, ther'by.

Still know, I not then

From whence,
doeth it come.

Come'th it does,
To now and then

Then and now
come'th it still

still to my heart
come'th it now

Still doeth it come
To'be quiet my soul

My soul to be'stilll
Doth quiet it now.

To reveal is to hide
Remaith their, still.

April 4, 2016

The Tau, of Stev,

It came at a great cost,
The Tao, of Stev,

Momma full of pain.
Papa,  lost his mind.
Brother, not certain, of love.

Two sister's,  struggled, to find a place,
... and each other.

How does one struggle?
... for a Tao.

He thought he found it,
... in the church that supported, him, them.

More discoveries, on the mission,
to Mississippi.

A wife.

Two children ...
Gifts from one, who loved them.

Then, the car accident,
... the cancer returns.

He lost it all,
in the deepest part, of his soul.

How to recover, the Tao ...
,saught he then.

, ... still does now.

The circumcision

To the doctor we go, today.

Today, is the circumcision.

He is 73, I am 51.

51 years ago he made, the choice...
... the same for me.

Now I make choices, for him ...
... for us?

In ancient Israel, it was the sign,
... of the covenant.

Now it is a sign, of ministrations,
... mine, for him.

Once he made the choices for me,
... now I make them for him.

We both did choose,
... of love, and care.

Then with choice,

... comes,

... redemption.

Of both, have come,
... sins.

Of ignorance,
... and choice.

With redemption, comes ...

... forgiveness,

... learning, 

... and joy.

He is helping me,
... to understand, his choices,
... and mine.

To heal, a broken soul

I am damaged goods .
Born defective..
Of broken soul's.

Young they were...
these broken soul's.

They sought to repair us...
the doctor's ...
... and the priests.

This long time ...
... they have sought our souls.

He was broken too.

Broken by the ones,
he sought to redeem.

In this brokenness,
...then beyond redemption, are we?

Then on, to redemption, 

this journey, then we seek

Then to serve,
... in our brokenness,
... is what remains.

The drive, to rescue, a soul.

Many years ago, it was, the drive.

Planned not was it.

Who would have planned, this drive.

He luv'd the boy.

Had since their youth.

He was the son, he might never have.

How does one walk, into a court room.

To send one, where, the boy is now.

This then, the van, was purchased.

Then loaded, was it, not, now ...

Then off, to rescue, the boy.

Others, were, their not, in the van too.

The parents who raised him, as their own.

I would not, after, this drive be permitted, to visit, him.

Then in the van, I would sit,my wife and I, waiting ...

Hoping, the boy, would feel our luv, through the razor wire.

This crime was horrible, but he was not the crime.

To separate the boy, from the crime, this was his goal.

Years later, the crime, is not remembered.

Forgiveness and healing have come, to them, all.

This then to be grateful.

How many times,
had he returned.

Alone.

Was he alone,
in crowds?

This three days,
this then, no more ...

Alone.

The dishes, she cleaned,
the table, she set,
the dinner, she served.

This, the one,
who gave him life.
had ceased to do,
long ago,

This three days,
she had come,
to change, his life.

Then to be grateful,
must he, 
then be.

This, then,
to show,
gratitude, and luv.

To return, to luv, and youth.

Luv is so sweet,

When taken, this choice.

To choose to luv,

T'is it  a gift, from diety.

Tougher, then, this choice,

A return, then, to joy.

The sweetness can come,
... after years of bitter sorrow.

Earned thus it is.

Like vinegar, that reduces, to wine.

This reversal to youth ...

like young luv, it returns.

The bitterness, long forgotten. .

It, the act of a two part ...

Forgiveness,

...

Thus returns, to youth, and joy ...

tobe, then, to the,

... "I Am" ...

She, who bore, the children

The choice, she made.

The gift, they shared.

Two for them,
was the gift.

A choice, not an accident,
or mistake.

This, a free will gift ...

of Luv.

Honored they were,
by the gift ...

this gift of Luv.

Together ...

they cherished,

The Children.

This daughter of Eve.

This daughter of Eve,

and ...

Adam's off-ox.

To luv her ...

In the end, was the choice.

But how to choose.

Her sisters would have replaced,

... her.

This choice was not made,in his youth.

This daughter off Eve ...

was distant, as was, Adams off-ox.

How many of Eves daughter's,
had sacrificed to create, her life.

How many of Eve's daughters,
would he lose, if he selected, an aunt,

for, his mom.

This price, he would not pay.

Reach out again ... he did.

This dance, this time, they,

... did not pull away.

Together they danced,
and celebrated Eve's daughters,
and Adams off-ox.

This then the Miracle

This, then, the miracle,

He comes ?

Tis pierced, and shunned.

This then, the miracle,

We seek.

To recognize.

The one, we do.

This, then the miracle.

This then pot, the plant

I prayed for a miracle,
I got the pot, planted.

Her death, would it come ?
Know I not, but when,

soon...

God, then sent, this gift
This to recognize, took but, years.

Death has not come,
Pass by it thus,

Has ...

This wife, still thus,
I have, and children too.

Plus one. ..

Solved ...

The great Nephretic puzzle
Thus, I have.

Now to be greatful,
For the miracle, he hath wrought.

And gifts, we now share.

(Book Of Mormon, 1 Nephi ch. 4)

Chapter 4

Nephi slays Laban at the Lord’s command and then secures the plates of brass by stratagem—Zoram chooses to join Lehi’s family in the wilderness. About 600–592 B.C.

10 And it came to pass that I was constrained by the Spirit that I should kill Laban; but I said in my heart: Never at any time have I shed the blood of man. And I shrunk and would that I might not slay him.
...
12 And it came to pass that the Spirit said unto me again: Slay him, for the Lord hath delivered him into thy hands;
13 Behold the Lord slayeth the wicked to bring forth his righteous purposes. It is better that one man should perish than that a nation should dwindle and perish in unbelief

She closed her heart

Luv her, a choice...

not a feeling.

She closed her heart.

Like the lady, that swallowed that fly,

I know not why.

I reached for her,

there, as a boy.

There, on the bench, in the car,

she beside me.

Cuddled, under her arm,

like the puppet, beside me.

She purchased the puppet,

at the pink ladies' shop.

We had gone to the hospital,

to discover, why, I wet the bed.

She was damaged goods,

as was I.

When life gets tough,

it hardens you.

You grow a shell,

thicker with the growing years.

I wet the bed, this because,

distant then, began I to feel ...

Not loved, not wanted,

cast aside. ..

This, I had thought.

Forty more years, we spent...

In this cuddle, or embrace.

I would reach out...

only to be pushed away.

In the end, she reached out, to dance.

only to be brushed away, ...

almost, still,

Once more, we danced,

and beautiful,  it was then.

Luv, being a verb

... love being a verb
is a things that retains ...
requires action to endure

life being unfair,
Is ment to sustain.

how to be greatful,
and not bitter and angry
when those we love are,

Tobe,,  taken..

strive always...

to awaken each morning,

to be greatful,

...that you share, one more day.

Dec 2015

The scars, they shared.

"She took a broken piece of glass and held it in her hand

Sharp as a razor and a wire from the ground

It was a broken piece of love that she had tried to cover up

And outside her window was the world"

Serrated, the knife,

Sharp, was it not?

The burden, he carried...

The more.

Long together, they had been,

He, and the burden.

To carry it now,

He must.

But how, then, he knew not,

Still...

Peeled back the layers, he did,

The top layers only,

On his forearms.

The burden to, release...

Help, 

Did, it not.

The stress, to release...

The pain, it would,

For a time, mask,

The burden...

But carry it, still he did.

The shame, hurt, and guilt.

Of all the yesterday's.

Still, their is another,

Who carries the scars.

The shame, hurt and pain...

For, all the world...

He created.

He would carry this pain too.

To remove the shame

Guilt, and scars.

To lift the burden, and make it light.

This was his task.

"Follow me all you who are heavy-laden and I will give you rest."

Now,

Only one need, carry the scars,

For they both.

"For He, so the luv's, the world. That he give'th his beluved son ..."

"But on the day she realized that she was stronger than the lies

She broke through her window into the world

And she was singing...

Come on, come on set free

All that is a prisoner inside of me

Come on, come on set fire

Burn through the wreckage, leave it all behind"

Bebo Norman, "Outside Her Window was the World"

Bebo Norman "Outside Her Window was the World"

To peer into his soul.

I peered into his body today,

Can I see into his soul.

Scoped it, for us, the Doctor,

Today,

as our god, scopes my soul.

I care for him now, 

as he once cared for me.

I feel the luv,

as I minister,

to his needs.

Luv then, really is a choice.

to see beyond the pain,

... well beyond the tears.

So much i'd have lost,

if not these many years.

So greatful I am,

that god peers, into my soul,

and chooses to luv, me still.

*I am now my Fathers Guardian and we go together to his doctors appointments.

--

Steven Bassett

A near miss, and a shared loss.

too walk, in their shoes, today.

died young, I did,

almost ...

like grandma and granddad  before...

Their hearts failed

while they were, yet young.

all of them, young.

this then young, but 62.

know I not, but that its is.

together children, had they lost,

together and apart.

My uncle lost, but one,

my grandparents, but two.

... many years, were lost, with regret

and a marriage too.

still, in the end, 

the regret, took a greater toll

a greater toll, then it should.

My wife lost i young, almost...

younger then them all.

no regret do I have, 

and no loss, do i share.

but a greater understanding,

and compassion do i share.

For the near miss, and loss,

we shared.

*My story, and my families. I nearly died at age 50 with a collision, with a cement truck.  My wife nearly died from stomach cancer like my Uncle Willard had done over a decade 

My grandparents Leo Herzog and Elnora (Nora) Byington Herzog, died young at 62 of heart disease.

Uncle Willard lost a son in a snowmobile accidents and marriage of + 25 years . My grandparents lost two children, young, in car and motorcycle accidents. 

I have compassion from walking in their shoes.

 

--

Steven Bassett

--

Steven Bassett

A near miss, and a shared loss.

too walk in their shoes today.

died young he did,

like his momma and daddie did

Their hearts failed

while they were yet young.

all of them young.

this then young, but 62.

know I not, but that its is.

together children, had they lost,

together and apart.

he lost but one,

and they but two.

years of regret were lost,

and a marriage too.

still, in the end, 

the regret, took a greater toll

a greater toll, then it should.

My wife lost i young, almost...

younger then them all.

no regret do I have, 

and no loss do i share.

but a greater understanding,

and compassion do i share.

For the near miss and the loss,

we shared.

*a story of my Uncle Willard Herzog, My grandparents Leo Herzog and Elnora (Nora) Byington Herzog.  With my wife's near loss to cancer I have come to understand and walk in their shoes.  Willard lost a son in a snowmobile accidents. My grandparents lost two children, young, in car and motorcycle accidents. They died of hearts disease and Willard Died of the same cancer that almost took my wife's life.

 

--

Steven Bassett

A longing for Joy

a longing intense... 
this drive will not rest ...
not feeling at home.
I need to leave peace.
The circle I seek,
return I may then.

** Joy = Sehnsucht  a difficult to translate Germain concept. 

[my first  poem Oct 2011]

Inspired by (Suprised by Joy: The Shape of My Early Life, Clive Stanley Lewis)

(see, G.K. Chesterton,  "Homesick at Home” (1896) from The Coloured Lands (London: Sheed & Ward, 1938))

see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sehnsucht

Still, the question.

Still the poetry,
From where doeth it come.

But come'th it does.

Till I come,
It reaches me.

Forever more
And then the same.

Doeth it reach you?

much ado about no'thing

much ado about no'thing

it was a small thing,

never quite their,

unfinished it was, 

or uncompleted they said.

it begged to be more,

to be finished, they said.

When all it was,

caused heartache and pain.

disposed of, it was, 

in a little, small care.

what does one do,

with an unfinished, 

unfulfilled, no'thing.

in time, another,

fulfilled, its promise.

a blessing it was,

to the both of them.

still the loss of possibility,

from the unfinished no'thing. 

** In Elizabethan England, "thing" was a slang or vulgar reference to a mans reproductive organ.  Then the organ that a woman receives it with is a no'thing.  If a man had a thing then a woman had a no'thing.**

--

Steven Bassett

Between, the storms

luv,

between the storms.

Was it life,

the life, they lived,

the life between...

the storms?

Does luv grow,

in the storms,

between them now.

To make a choice,

always they must.

barely a breather,

between the storms.

is life, the sum total,

of the calms, 

or the storm.

growth comes,

in the storm.

lesson are learned,

in the calms.

to shelter, in each,

must they then,

now find.

in the end,

the sum total,

of their lives,

is this ...

the luv remains.

Thoughts on the life of my mom and dad.

--

Steven Bassett

on Hosea and Gomer ver 2.0

Hosea was gods prophet,

god choose Hosea.

Gomer was gods handmaiden,

Gomer chose god ...

god knew Gomer and Hosea,

long before they remembered god.

god had a message for them,

for Hosea, Gomer and the world.

Remember me, from before,

you became,

where you are now.

They could return,

to him now,

where he is ...

Hosea must redeem Gomer,

as god redeemed the world.

When god commands you to choose Gomer...

be greatful for god choose you too.

For the ransom has been paid,

and we are redeemed.

*some say Gomer was a loose woman, a woman of low morals, Hosea was gods prophet to ancient Isreal to an unfaithful nation.

ver 2.0 09-26-2016

--

Steven Bassett

On being faithful, to his unbelief.

Their he sits,
on the back row,
most Sundays.

The back slider.

He had lost it,
so long ago,
on his mission,
to redeem the world.

He was deep-rooted,
in his unbelief...

So faithful,
to its loss ...

He married outside the faith.

A daughter came then too.

They raised her in his faithfulness,
to his unbelief.

His wife thought...

Their daughter needed,
a faith,
a belief.

His was as good, as any other.
Perhaps, even better.

Many times, he had tried,
to leave his unbelief.

It was marrow deep,
in his bones.

His ancestors buried it,
deep there,
ever so deep,
he could not retrieve it.

It become a blessing,
his unbelief.

Let him see, the true light,
at the center, of every soul.

Was his prayer unanswered,
in his unbelief?

Lord, I do not believe,
Bless me now, in my unbelief.

*Inspired by the life and unbelief of Levi Peterson, author of "The Backslider". It is my understanding that it was his non-mormon wife's desire to raise their daughter in the mormon faith.

on Hosea and Gomer

Hosea was gods prophet,

god choose Hosea.

Gomer was gods handmaiden,

Gomer chose god ...

god knew Gomer and Hosea,

long before they remembered god.

god had a message for them,

for Hosea, Gomer and the world.

Remember me, from before,

you became,

where you are now.

They could return,

to him now,

where he is ...

Hosea must choose Gomer,

as god chose the world.

When god commands you to choose Gomer...

be greatful for god choose you.

*some say Gomer was a loose woman, a woman of low morals, Hosea was gods prophet to ancient Isreal to an unfaithful nation.

--

Steven Bassett

On the World, Becoming

The world,
Is it now becoming?

They seek to divide,
to sell us the goods.

Hate sells better
then love.

To advertise,
they must shock us.

Murder, theft, and robbery,
sell better then,
kittens and new puppies.

To entertain they must devide us.

By all measure the world gets better,

When I walk away,
turn it off,
and seek to serve.

Steven Bassett sept 2015

on being Geppetto, or block of wood.

Geppetto was a kindly, old sole,

and a kindly ole sole, was he.

He danced for his dinner,

and he danced for his supper,

and he danced, with the fiddlers three.

This dance, he brings forth,

and then do we share.

Pinocchio, was he their,

their always,

in the in-created, block of wood.

their to be discovered,

to be brought forth, 

then, to grow, 

and then be shared.

Some times, I feel like Geppetto,

Some times, I am Pinocchio.

My Dad, and I dance.

Sometimes, he is Dad,

Sometimes, am I.

This Dance then,

do we bring forth.

together, and apart.

to then together,

discover the boy,

in the un-created,

block of souls.

--

Steven Bassett

On becoming a parent.

today i became his parent

he carried me that first day

that first day together

it was not supposed, 

to be this way, in the car, 

together.

i had a rough start

this day was my first.

little did i understand

this day and his concerne.

no diaper did i soil,

or ever would i then or now.

without this ride,

not long would i live.

I know he was scared.

two sons had he not,

The second was i then.

After the surgery, 

hungry was I, not?

The nurse had not time,

no time for me to feed.

Dad, he had time,

and that used, he now.

Soon I was eating,

and growing I did.

Now the table turns,

turns today it does.

I will become his parent,

together, a journey, we share,

to find his needs.

to protect him now.

this the second ride,

together. 

--

Steven Bassett

I rode a poem today.

I wrote, a poem, today,
Or did it ride me.

To be taken, for a ride,
by a poem.

It climbs out.
Kicking and scratching,
and crawling my way.

Soon to be forgotten.

No fish to wrap.
No fires to start.

Just memories to make,
and lives to change.

he said, she said

she said,

no babies can I have,

he said,

I luv you still,

she said,

maybe their will be babies

he said,

I luv you still.

two years they tried

two twins they lost,

or so it seamed.

she said,

i want you to see a doctor.

he said,

I luv you still.

she said,

I will help you.

Together, they found,

it was him, not her.

he cried,

and cried.

she said,

I luv you still.

then came the babies,

and they luved them so.

--

Steven Bassett

To still the (mourning/morning)

T'is it, this past, to then, be gone.
gone it is, this (morning/mourning) long.

When mourn has come, and then be gone.
T'is it too quiet, to come, this morn.

To simmer, this fire, this pain, this past.
to leave behind, this (mourn/morn), at last.

The choice, in the bedroom. Ver 1.0

he found her that way,
in the bedroom with his best friend.
his loaded glock in his right hand
his anger in his left.

the choice, now to make.
it would change the world.
how long does one count
to ones self
before changing the world ...

years later , the children
did he love her still?

they burned through them all,
together and apart.
one luver after another.
now together, again they are.
he on one bedroom, she in another.

like  a little wipped puppy, she was.
yet he luved her still.
yet to leave her he must,
to go on she will.

but the children between them they have,
to luv them still,
this choice to make,
this choice to share.

First the pot, then the flower.

An apple was it not,
or then maybe a flower.

Bare fruit it did,
then.

Doe'th one plant a flower,
to preserve a life.

The first fruit, doe'th,
it become?

Brought forth first,
knowledge.

Then eternal life.

This the choice,
a flower thus plant,
to then the cure.

Then more they whole,
once more again .

To thus a family,
tobe the more.