The Choice ...

"Was he a good man,

or only just "real"?

he came home

a little too tired

a little too madd?

his momma and daddy 

good where they not...

or only just "real".

He learned to forgive,

He learned to forget

the ones that he luved?

he wasn't quit sure.

how do be good,

or just, to be "real"

like a pot that He see's, 

 He watch'ed there'fore.

To never, to boil.

time, will it tell?

to seek to be good,

or only, just "real" .

steven bassett

01-28-2016 01-29-2016

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Velveteen_Rabbit
by Margery Williams

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/M_m054tLKvs" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Together, and Apart

"Together, and Apart"

she loved him
she loved him not

that is the question

he wondered
as did she.

they came together
and apart

she understood him
and understood him not.

this is a mystery.

together so long
yet still apart.

each day they commit
to come together.

even if,
they are apart.

steven bassett

1-15-2016

On why God weeps

"God’s response to the manifold creatures by whom he is surrounded, the movement of his heart and will in the direction of those other beings, establishes the pattern of his divine activity. As" Joseph "Smith’s Book of Mormon pronounced, “He doeth not anything save it be for the benefit of the world; for he loveth the world.” And an 1830 text elaborated, “For this is my work and my glory, to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man.” ...

 
           ... For Mormons, it is God’s freely made choice to inaugurate and sustain costly loving relationships that is at the very core of his divine identity."

Givens, Terryl L. (2014-10-03). Wrestling the Angel: The Foundations of Mormon Thought: Cosmos, God, Humanity (p. 88). Oxford University Press. Kindle Edition.

To preserve our future...

Hugh B. Brown as a young soldier in the Canadian forces.

Just one word: No matter what your past has been, you have a spotless future.

A week ago tomorrow night I was talking to the young people at Brigham Young University in a fireside. There were 12,500 of them present. A very inspirational time was had. I spoke to them about some of the things that have been spoken of here tonight. I told them they have a spotless future, and asked that they guard that future and remember that when the Judge shall summon them, he will not look them over for medals, for diplomas, for honors, but for scars, and I warned them to beware that there be no stains between the scars.

God help us to be worthy of the responsibility that is ours, both those who are missionaries, and those who have been on missions previously, those of us who are growing old in the work; let us continue faithfully to serve God and keep his commandments. Let us remember what the speakers tonight have said to us, and take their words home with us and put them into practice.

(Hugh B. Brown:The Improvement, December 1969)

On her Death

Anthony Frederick Sandys - Until her Death

Her Death, We speak not of;

Shall it be not her life's shadow;

The shadow she doeth cast'

What light is the source their of?.

that casteth forth;

On her death.

Steven Bassett

09-27-2014

To luv...a choice?!

The choice is to luv,

to this I do see ?

To choose thus I must?

Though painful it be.

This pain then it brings,
To me it does now.

A lesson to learn

A gift to bestow.

Steven Bassett

ON Mommas’ Afghan.

Momma loved to knit afghan’s. They helped her to pass the time when she was watching television. Her Momma taught her how to crochet as a young child. I can remember many hours watching her crochet. She had crocheted so long she no longer watched her stitching, it was a mechanical motion more like walking or chewing gum. I wonder if it helped her to think.

Momma decided each of her children needed a good heavy afghan. She had collected many small balls of yarn from previous project’s The afghan’s were heavy. They had a heavy double stitch, one color on each side. The afghan were so heavy they were best used in the winter.

Each afghan required a year to complete. She worked on those afghans for four years. Each year one of her children received an afghan for Christmas. I wonder if she thought about her children as she was knitting each one of them their afghan. One child could not read well and had difficulty in school. He was color blind and had trouble telling his colors apart. One children read well but had difficulty speaking to people his own age. He never dated much, but was fortunate to find a good woman who understood him. One child never ate enough and had to be reminded when it was time to eat. This child still struggles with her weight and is now developing M.S. One child struggled with her first marriage and lived with Mom for a couple years. Mom helped her to raise her sons until a man came along who loved her boys and adopted them as his own. They now have five more children and how do they keep her busy.

Momma married young and grew up with her children. Her husband was a challenge. Signs of high functioning Autism and hyperactivity are present in the male line of his family. Momma would never have understood these words she just knew Dad had a tough time filtering his thoughts. He spoke out in inappropriate times and in inappropriate places. My Dad and his Father were forbidden to be in the Smith Brother Lumber Company together. One of them at a time was more then a handful.

Each fall my wife pulls the afghan out of the closet and puts is on our bed. I love to fell warm and comforted by it’s weight.

The afghan reminds of my mother and her life. The afghan is no longer perfect like it was when my mother gave it to me. A few years ago I snagged it on a piece of furniture. Their is a small stitch torn out of one side. My mamma's life was like this afghan. It was no loner perfect like it had been when her Momma gave life to her. Even though this afghan is no longer perfect it is still functional and fulfills its purpose. I have ask my wife to repair the snagged. My wife is skilled in the art of crochet. She tells me it is not possible to repair the snag. Even if she did repair the afghan it would no longer be the afghan my mother crocheted. As the year go by I learn to appreciate the afghan for it beauty and its flaw. It becomes more real with time like Margery Williams Velveteen rabbit (see. The Velveteen Rabbit or How Toys Become Real )

Mamma is gone, but the is the afghan remains. My Mom, like her quilt became more real with time. She was deeply flawed. She loved her children and she loved her husband. She always tried her best and luved her family.

With time I have the shed the bitterness and enmity. I am warmed by the afghan and the memories it brings.

If you have the opportunity to live and love, to forgive and to forget, please do. And leave some memories and if possible something that is real like Mommas afghan.

a repost from oct 21 2011.

still true and I still sleep with every night.

From October 21 2011

Originally posted to facebook.com

On life or is it death.

To come to life,

or is it death.

To question now,

this life or love

T'is death to live,

and not to love

To question now,

to this I must

To love I must,

though life be short.

For tis it death,

to love no more.

Steven Bassett

March, 2015

No more, to mourn

"The ones ...

    ... that never were?"

Unknown it was,

from start, to see

Two come so near,

when first they wedd

to now, to see

T'is thorny still

one eye half open,

the other half closed.

To hear and know,

yet know not still.

Create, He not,

Desire, He more.

Revealed not still,

T'was he, not her.

When time did pass,

two more did come.

To share they will,

complete they are.

No more, to mourn

"The ones ...

    ... that never were?"

Steven Bassett

January, 2015

on choosing to rise and not to set.

"The choice, they Share.."

to sit across the table, the silence increasing.

... why they wed, they know not now.
still together they are

their babes brought forth.

to lose the first,  cost what little, they now share.

this new loss, more painful still.

the time

T'is twilight
is it ris'in'
 or (their,there) setting.

The choice thyr'in ...
to choose to rise,
and not to set.

  

the embers 

their remains, enough to choose,
the fire and warmth.
or cold and bitter;  no more to share.

Steven Bassett
01-13-2015

My Testimony

• I deeply believe in the prophet Joseph Smith and in his mission to restore the Church.  
• I believe the church is in a constant state of restoration.
•  I believe God has other prophets too.
• John Milton was his prophet to the English people, as were William Tyndale and John Wycliffe.
• True religion lies somewhere between the faith of Thomas More and the prophetic voice of William Tyndale.

• The church was taken not from the earth at the death of the apostles but was received into the wilderness where she was nourished by his poets and musicians. (see Revelations 12:6)

On an ever expanding Hell...

William Blake "The Marriage of Heaven and Hell"

“Woe to those who join house to house,

who add field to field,

until there is no more room,

and you are made to dwell alone in the midst of the land. “

(Isaiah 5:8)

“The Great Divorce”, is a fable, told by C.S. Lewis. In the story a choice is made, to stay in Perdition and make it a Hell or take a bus ride and start a journey to Heaven.

The fable takes place in two locations. 

The first is a great city that, with the passage of time, transforms from purgatory to hell. It is in a great twilight, uncertain if is ev'n or morn'.

The second is a great meadow, leading to Heaven.  At this meadow friends and family greet the new comers and urge them to take the path to heaven.

One of the interesting facets of Hell/Purgatory is the ever expanding city, dark gray and dingy.  

Hell/Purgatory is every where expanding because men have not love for each other but are driven to expand outward continually.  

Thus hell never ceases to increase. 

This ever expanding hell is but a small sliver, a crack between two blades of grass in the great meadow.

Read then of faith; That shone above the fagot,

 

 

Read, Sweet, How Others Strove

Read, sweet, how others strove,

Till we are stouter;

What they renounced,

Till we are less afraid;

How many times they bore the faithful witness,

Till we are helped As if a kingdom cared.

Read then of faith

That shone above the fagot,

Clear strains of hymn

The river could not drown,

Brave names of men

And celestial women

Passed out of record

Into renown.

Emily Dickinson, “Read, Sweet, How Others Strove,” in Complete Poems (Boston: Little, Brown, 1960), 119–20.

Did this destruction by fire destroy the the body of Christ or anneal his true church?
Individuals paid a heavy price to strengthen the church and greater Kingdom of God

 fag·ot

noun: faggot; plural noun: faggots; noun: fagot; plural noun: fagots

    a bundle of sticks or twigs bound together as fuel.

        a bundle of iron rods bound together for reheating, welding, and hammering into bars.

an·neal

verb past tense: annealed; past participle: annealed

    heat (metal or glass) and allow it to cool slowly, in order to remove internal stresses and toughen it.
        Biochemistry
        recombine (DNA) in the double-stranded form following separation by heat.

O' hear the cry of the uncleav'd womb

Leonardo Da Vinci's lab notes

what of the cry, of the empty womb

create'th it not  but, a ball sized wound.

it cries now for Sara's, two thousand sons.

lost at the birth, of the savior/son

and what of the portions, joined not at birth.

long barren they were, so she cleav'd its' parts.

and what of the Gift, of the sisters luv.

she give'th them now, to share'th their womb.

and what of the child's, and husband so dear,

endureth they must,  the wound now returned

and what of the time, remaineth their still.

grateful they are, for that which remains.

and what of the ones, receiveth they still,

the gift have they now, of the savior/ son.

Steven Bassett

2015

on the dictatorship and absolutism of scientific thought

Science can tell us a great deal about the world. It can tell us what the stars are made of, explain how a lightning bug flashes in the night sky, and describe the process of cell division that leads a zygote to become a baby girl. But it does not tell us why we should care about the nature of stars, why the staccato flash of insects in the night delights us, or how the child should live. The error of believing that science represents the highest, or purest, or only reliable guide to truth is the error of scientism. Philosophers like Maurice Merleau-Ponty have pointed out that the problem is not science itself, one of the greatest and most fruitful of all human enterprises. The healthy stance is not “to question the validity of physical laws or the veracity of mathematical equations, but rather . . . to break the dictatorship and absolutism of scientific thought over all other forms of human thinking.”12

Givens, Terryl; Givens, Fiona (2014-09-05). The Crucible of Doubt (Kindle Locations 322-328). Deseret Book Company. Kindle Edition.

On Mothers' Eve.

God the Son informing Eve of the consequences of her choice to eat the forbidden fruit and learn good from evil.

In gaining the knowledge of procreation, she will learn by experience how to be a god and govern her children, this act will increase her sorrow.

"Thy sorrow I will greatly multiplie [193]

By thy Conception;

Children thou shalt bring In sorrow forth," 

(John Milton, Paradise Lost Book 10)

"Four times my mother bore children.

Four times she offered her life,

on the delivery table,

In sorrow she brought forth,

four children.

A fifth she lost in utero,

she named him Dana Allen.

She mourned his loss,

the remainder of her days."

(Steven Lynn Bassett , The Offering of her Life)

A new take on Pascal's Wager

George MacDonald with son Ronald (right) and daughter Mary (left) in 1864. Photograph by Lewis Carroll.

"Whatever energies I may or may not have,

I know one thing for certain,

that I could not devote them to anything else

I should think entirely worth doing.

Indeed nothing else seems interesting enough

--nothing to repay the labour,

but the telling of my fellow-men

about the one man who is the truth,

and to know whom is the life.

Even if there be no hereafter,

I would live my time believing

in a grand thing

that ought to be true

if it is not.

No facts can take the place of truths,

and if these be not truths,

then is the loftiest part of our nature

a waste.

Let me hold by the better than the actual,

and fall into nothingness

off the same precipice with Jesus

and John

and Paul

and a thousand more,

who were lovely in their lives,

and with their death

make even the nothingness

into which they have passed

like the garden of the Lord.

I will go further, Polwarth, and say,

 I would rather die  for evermore

believing as Jesus believed,

than live for evermore

believing as those that deny him.

If there be no God,

I feel assured that existence is

and could be

but a chaos of contradictions,

whence can emerge nothing worthy

to be called a truth,

nothing worth living for.—

No, I will not give up my curacy. I will teach that which IS good, even if there should be no God to make a fact of it, and I will spend my life on it, in the growing hope, which MAY become assurance, that there is indeed a perfect God, worthy of being the Father of Jesus Christ, and that it was BECAUSE they are true, that these things were lovely to me and to so many men and women, of whom some have died for them, and some would be yet ready to die."

(George Macdonald, Thomas Wingfold, Curate, chapter 75)

On Male equality and Female ordination.

"Yet there is another point to the feminist argument, and a valid one at that -- why aren't men looking up to the women? Or at the very least, what aren't women feeling that men are taking them seriously? Women are in leadership positions, they speak in General Conference. Are men taking these women with a grain of salt? This is a personal question each man should answer and has nothing to do with the priesthood. It has to do with the lack of understanding some men (and women) have with the organization of the Church. If all leadership are called of God, then all leadership are equally worth our ears when they speak, regardless of gender.

It should be remembered that the priesthood keys given to women to run the Church, keys to teach, preach, lead, preside, etc, are given now without being ordained to the Priesthood. A man cannot do this. A man cannot hold a calling or even enter the temple without holding the Priesthood. Maybe we should be asking ourselves why men need the Priesthood to become equal to women."

http://www.opednews.com/articles/2/Women-and-the-Priesthood-i-by-E-David-Ferriman-Equal_Religion_Religion_Women-Equal-Rights-140617-270.html

on becoming, how our sorrows drive us to the house of prayer

"Gladness may make a man forget his thanksgiving; misery drives him to his prayers. For we are not yet, we are only becoming. ...there are two door-keepers to the house of prayer, and Sorrow is more on the alert to open than her grandson Joy" 

 "If a wife so love that she would keep every opposition, every inconsistency in her husband's as yet but partially harmonious character, she does not love well enough for the kingdom of heaven. If its imperfections be essential to the individuality she loves, and to the repossession of her joy in it, she may be sure that, if he were restored to her as she would have him, she would soon come to love him less--perhaps to love him not at all;" ...


 ... "Neither is it any man's peculiarities that make him beloved; it is the essential humanity underlying those peculiarities."

(Hope of the Gospel; George Macdonald, ch 10)

On Living with Autism, and keeping a Covenant.

This is the covenant my wife and mother have kept.

Living with one with autism can be a burden even when my mother had no name for it and did not understand it.

TAMMY WYNETTE LYRICS
"Stand By Your Man"

Sometimes it's hard to be a woman
Giving all your love to just one man
You'll have bad times, and he'll have good times
Doin' things that you don't understand
But if you love him, you'll forgive him
Even though he's hard to understand
And if you love him, oh be proud of him
'Cause after all he's just a man.
Stand by your man, give him two arms to cling to
And something warm to come to
When nights are cold and lonely.
Stand by your man, and show the world you love him
Keep giving all the love you can.
Stand by your man.
Stand by your man, and show the world you love him
Keep giving all the love you can.
Stand by your man.

SONGWRITERS
BILLY SHERRILL;TAMMY WYNETTE

PUBLISHED BY
EMI AL GALLICO MUSIC CORP.

On the inheritance, Male and Female

Once a man received as his inheritance two keys. The first key, he was told, would open a vault which he must protect at all cost. The second key was to a safe within the vault which contained a priceless treasure. He was to open this safe and freely use the precious things which were stored therein. He was warned that many would seek to rob him of his inheritance. He was promised that if he used the treasure worthily, it would be replenished and never be diminished, not in all eternity. He would be tested. If he used it to benefit others, his own blessings and joy would increase.

The man went alone to the vault. His first key opened the door. He tried to unlock the treasure with the other key, but he could not, for there were two locks on the safe. His key alone would not open it. No matter how he tried, he could not open it. He was puzzled. He had been given the keys. He knew the treasure was rightfully his. He had obeyed instructions, but he could not open the safe.

In due time, there came a woman into the vault. She, too, held a key. It was noticeably different from the key he held. Her key fit the other lock. It humbled him to learn that he could not obtain his rightful inheritance without her.

They made a covenant that together they would open the treasure and, as instructed, he would watch over the vault and protect it; she would watch over the treasure. She was not concerned that, as guardian of the vault, he held two keys, for his full purpose was to see that she was safe as she watched over that which was most precious to them both. Together they opened the safe and partook of their inheritance. They rejoiced for, as promised, it replenished itself.

BOYD K. PACKER General Conference October 1993

On cheap grace.

"Cheap grace is preaching forgiveness without requiring repentance, baptism without church discipline, Communion without confession. … Cheap grace is grace without discipleship, grace without the cross, grace without Jesus Christ, living and incarnate."

"costly grace confronts us as a gracious call to follow Jesus, it comes as a word of forgiveness to the broken spirit and the contrite heart. It is costly because it compels a man to submit to the yoke of Christ and follow him; it is grace because Jesus says: "My yoke is easy and my burden is light."

Dietrich Bonhoeffer

On Gloria's touch.

How I met Gloria

I first met Gloria in the fall of  1985, in Vicksburg Mississippi.  I was in the Louisiana-Mississippi area teaching people about the restored Church of Christ and helping them to become members of the Church of Jesus Christ Latter-Day Saints.
 

When I was fourteen years old I was ask by one of my church leaders to commit to serving a mission.  I loved and respected this man.  I accepted this challenge and used the next  5 years to prepare serve a mission.

My Mom and I entered an a covenant that if I prepared myself to serve she would find a way to support me.  This was a big commitment on her part.  We where not a wealthy family.  My Mom believed in the teaching's of the church. She had not attended services for a number of years, at least 10.  

It is a central doctrine of our church that to enter Heaven we need to be baptized by someone having the Priesthood or authority to baptize.  This authority was given to the founder of our church by an angel, John the Baptist, the same person that baptized Jesus Christ.  This same authority has been passed down from man to man by the laying on of hands.  I was ordained by my Bishop, Glen Owen Waite when I turned 16 years old. 

Our church has a lay Priesthood and all worthy men in our church receive the same authority.  I was ordained by my bishop because my Father, who holds the same authority, had stopped attending church.  My Father had ordained me to the two previous steps in the priesthood, Deacon and Teacher.  If my father had been attending church he would have ordained me to next 2 steps in the priesthood, Priest and Elder.   I was ordained to my final step in the priesthood, Elder, by my beloved uncle, Deloye Grand Herzog, when I turned 18.

My missionary companion and I met Gloria in a Hospital.  She was receiving treatment for brain cancer. It was this cancer that would end Gloria's life.  Gloria had learned about our church while being treated for cancer in a hospital in Jackson Mississippi.  This member of my church had not attended services in a number of years and no longer practiced the faith.

 Gloria life and death started me an exploration.

We have a Priesthood Ordinance.  It is a blessing with Olive Oil and sealing with the Priesthood.  I participated in offering this ordinance to Gloria.  I did want to be seen as a faith healer.

• I wanted to see Gloria enter the covenant of Baptism
• I did not want her to join to save her life.  

She was Baptized after I transferred to my next area.  Gloria died of cancer about a year later.

• Gloria helped me to understand that God works in many wonderful ways.  He uses all children to bless each other.  We are his hands on Earth. 

• God used my parents, who did not attend church to support me on a mission

• God used a member of our church who did attend services to help Gloria gain a testimony of Christ.

We may not see the many hidden hands and ways God uses to bless his children.

"... it is quite possible that God’s purpose is something different from the purpose of either party; and yet the human instrumentalities, working just as they do, are of the best adaptation to effect his purpose."

 (Collected Works of Abraham Lincoln, edited by Roy P. Basler.)

On Parenting and Fatherhood.

since my mothers passing....
                               I now parent my Father,

only those who have walked their path can understand.

I hope I am kind enough to my children that they will select a good care facility when my time comes.

Where my Father and I's journey will take us I cannot see now. I can only take one step into the darkness and hope wife and children will follow.

I have know for decades that my children need to see me honor my parents.

I need to honor my children, they are my legacy.

"And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon"

"And as I hung up the phone it occurred to me
He'd grown up just like me
My boy was just like me"
(Harry Chapin)

On The Flavor of Lipstick

 Essay

On the flavor of lipstick

October 12, 1989

I would not have believed the attraction that could be held for the flavor of lipstick.  It is bitter and yet so sweet.  It would never do as a topping for ice cream.  I am certain that Baskin Robbins will never use it, as they’re 32 flavor.   I have known children who have eaten it like candy, but I think it would generally be considered quite unappetizing.  I can only think of one group of people who would cherish its flavor and look forward to their next exposure.  They constitute a large portion of our society.   No those people are not crazed lunatics on the loose buying larger quantities of flaming red or passionate pink.  Most of the people who savor the flavor of lipstick never buy their own tubes.  Most often this habit is partaken in the company of another person who most likely purchased the product. 

I think it is the setting more then the actually taste of the product that leads so many of the people in this group to partake of its wonderful effervescence.  It is not always partaken of in public nor is it strictly saved for those more private moments.  It is often, those not always, partaken of in mixed company.  And like all things that brings true pleasure it lingers on long after its effects have washed away.  It lingers in the mind of the partaker as in the mind of the giver.

It reminds me of the story of a man who walked by a dairy and all he could smell is money.  The farmer had learned to associate the smell of the manure with the sight of the milk check at the end of the month.  For those who enjoy the flavor of lipstick it is more for the remembrance of the experience then for the affect on the taste buds.

For those who experience this pleasure later in life, it can be a mixed blessing, especially if it occurs with someone that is really special, someone who you seek to spend the rest of you life with.  It can cement the bonds of friendship into the kind of relationship the will last into eternity.

This is an essay I wrote on the night of Oct 12 1989.

I was kissed by my girlfriend Bonnie Frandsen 

for the first time. 

The next morning she agreed to marry me.

for he shall save his people from their sins

 

 

And She 

 

 

"shalt call his name Jesus;

for he shall save his people

from their sins."Matthew 1:21

"I would help some to understand

what Jesus came from the home of our Father to be to us

and do for us."

"I presume there is scarce a human being who,

resolved to speak openly,

would not confess to having something that plagued him,

something from which he would gladly be free,

something rendering it impossible for him,

at the moment,

to regard life

as an altogether good thing. "

....

"The causes of their discomfort are of all kinds,"

"from simple uneasiness

to a misery

such as makes annihilation

the highest hope of the sufferer"

"Some, to escape it,

leave their natural surroundings behind them,

and with strong and continuous effort

keep rising in the social scale,

to discover at every new ascent

fresh trouble," "awaiting them,"

"whereas in truth

they have brought the trouble with them.

Others, making haste to be rich,

are slow to find out that the poverty

of their souls,

none the less that their purses are filling,

will yet keep them unhappy.

Some court endless change,

nor know that on themselves

the change must pass

that will set them free.

Others expand their souls with knowledge,

only to find that content will not dwell

in the great house they have built."..

"All seek the thing whose defect appears

the  cause  of their misery," 

"The real cause of his trouble

is a something the man has not perhaps recognized"

"he is not yet acquainted with its true nature."

However absurd the statement may appear 

to one who has not yet discovered the fact for

himself,
the cause of every man's discomfort is evil,
moral evil

first of all,
evil in himself,
his own sin,
his own wrongness,
his own unrightness;

and then, 

evil in those he loves:"

"the only way to get rid of it,
is for the man to get rid of his own sin."

"but evil in ourselves is the cause of its continuance,
the source of its necessity,"

"Foolish is the man,
and there are many such men,
who would rid himself or his fellows of discomfort
by setting the world right,
by waging war on the evils around him,

while he neglects that integral part
of the world where lies his business,
his first business namely, his own
character and conduct.

Were it possible"...
"that the world should
thus be righted from the outside,
it would yet be impossible for the man
who had contributed to the work,
remaining what he was,
ever to enjoy the perfection
of the result;

himself not in tune with the organ he had tuned,
he must imagine it still 

a distracted, jarring instrument.

The philanthropist who regards the wrong as in the race,
forgetting that the race is made up of conscious and wrong individuals,
forgets also that wrong is always generated
in and done by an individual;

that the wrongness exists in the individual,

and by him is passed over,

as tendency,

to the race;

and that no evil can be cured in the race,

except by its being cured in its individuals: "

"There is no way of making three men right

but by making right each one of the three;

but a cure in one man who repents and turns,

is a beginning of the cure of the whole human race."

(Hope of the Gospel, George MacDonald)

5 Kinds of Mormon

5 Kinds of Mormon

By Robert Kirby

With thirty years in the LDS Church (10 states and four countries). I think I am something of an expert on Mormons. Enough of an expert in fact to know that I'm going to catch hell for this. Here it is. In the entire world there are only five kinds of Mormons, basically.

The first kind of Mormon is the Liberal Mormon; this includes all Mormons who attend church only when they feel like it. Liberal Mormons anywhere to the left of the Republican Party, are not rabidly pro-life and don't think every word that falls from the lips of a General Authority represents the actual personal opinion of Jesus Christ. Liberal Mormons are going to hell. Just ask any of the other four kinds of Mormons. On the other hand Liberal Mormons think the intolerance and naive stupidity of other Mormons is more of a threat to mankind than Russian missiles, wheat weevils or 'R' rated movies.

After Liberal Mormons come Genuine Mormons. Nearly every Mormon thinks this is the kind of Mormon he is. In reality, Genuine Mormons are about as rare as, oh say, angels or golden plates. Genuine Mormons are unimpressed with themselves and their opinions. They are affable, easy going and keenly interested in the well being of others. They live various lifestyles and when compared to the more outlandish lifestyles of other Mormons, tend to be dang near invisible. A friend of mine says that this is because they have all been translated. He is wrong. My studies have proved there are only 11 Genuine Mormons on the face of the earth. Two of them live in Utah, three in the remainder of the United States, two in South America, one each in Japan, Canada, Samoa and Spain. There are no Genuine Mormons in California or Idaho. One doubles as a Liberal Mormon, of the remaining ten, four are the Three Nephites and John the Beloved.

The third kind of Mormon is the Conservative Mormon. These kinds of Mormon are the suit and flowered dress crowd you see at church. They tend to be a little overweight and Republican. They attend church 95% of the time but may, if pressed hard enough sleep through General Conference. They pay tithing on their net income and have 4.5 children. The homes of Conservative Mormon 's are decorated with Relief Society nick-knacks. Conservative Mormons humor Liberal Mormons because after all, they are God's children too. 75% of the LDS church is C.M. and 99% of all Conservative Mormons were born into the church.

Fourth are the Orthodox Mormons. Orthodox Mormons would not miss church for the death of a relative. Left to their own devices Orthodox Mormons would eventually make the bringing of dry cereal and Tupperware bowls to Sacrament Meeting a gospel ordinance. Orthodox Mormons have 7.8 children - not because they enjoy them but because somewhere it says that they should, and because even abstinence is an intolerable form of birth control. Orthodox Mormons are scared of Russians, MTV and accidentally partaking of the sacrament with their left hands. They believe Liberal Mormons are the children of the devil. Orthodox Mormons pay tithing based upon their gross income and believe Diet Coke is part of the Word of Wisdom.

Finally there are the Nazi Mormons. 10% of the LDS church is Nazi Mormon. Of that 10% 90% live in Utah and most within shouting distance of BYU. Nazi Mormons are prone to wild claims in testimony meeting about things which cannot be proven. Nazi Mormons claim Diet Coke is the same thing as heroin and heaven is a multi-level marketing system. Nazi Mormons always want to have private talks with you about either golden futures, alien landing strips or soap. Nazi Mormons believe French kissing is cause for excommunication, they routinely take the advice of General Authorities and even improve on it. If no single dating until 16 is good, no single dating until draft age is better. Nazi Mormons pay tithing on their gross income including the stuff they get from the Bishops Storehouse.

There you go. Remember, it is possible to fluctuate between levels. In truth one could find himself swayed from the Conservative Mormon level to the Orthodox Mormon level by a particularly powerful fireside speaker. This only applies to one-level jumps. A Liberal Mormon for example, could never drop four levels to Nazi Mormon.

Robert Kirby "On Staying Mormon"

By Robert Kirby

Salt Lake Tribune Columnist

First Published Mar 13 2014

Shortly before leaving for my LDS mission in 1973, a coworker tried to get me to see the light by giving me the bloody details of the Mountain Meadows Massacre.

In 1857 immigrants traveling in a wagon train were slaughtered near Cedar City. The actual perpetrators of the massacre had long been debated but the truth was finally coming out. Jordan was extra happy about that.

Jordan: "And it was the Mormons who killed them."

Me: "Yeah, I know. Two of my great-great-grandfathers helped."

The fact that I already knew what had happened and was related to some of the murderers didn’t sit well with Jordan. How could I possibly still go on a mission knowing that stuff about the church?

That part was easy: It had nothing to do with me.

While troubling, Mountain Meadows didn’t surprise me. I already knew a few Mormons so steeped in church obedience that with the right prompting they’d probably do it again. As I saw it, my whole job was to make sure I wasn’t one of them.

I feel the same way about polygamy, the one-time ban on blacks in the priesthood and a bunch of other troublesome stuff in our past. I’ve always believed people are bad, including (and sometimes especially) people who are trying to be good.

I bring this up because in a recent address to a group of historian President Dieter F. Uchtdorf, second counselor in the LDS First Presidency, encouraged Mormons to maintain hope in the face of troubling explanations.

When The Tribune reported on it I started getting feedback from readers eager to prove to me that the church I attend isn’t "true." Our history proves it.


Email: "The shame alone should tell you what you need to do, Mr. Kirby. Get out now."

Me: "OK, let me think ab...no."

I’m Mormon. It’s who I am. Yeah, there are things I don’t like about my church but there are things that I do.

It helps that I’m comfortable being my kind of Mormon. It helps me handle people who think they have a better idea what I should do than me.

When I read the story about Uchtdorf’s remarks, my first thought was who better than him to give such advice?

Uchtdorf belongs to a group of people with a dark and horrible past. And it isn’t Mormons. He’s German. He’s probably spent his entire life hearing about the Holocaust, genocide on an industrial scale.

So even though he’s now a naturalized U.S. citizen, I wonder why he didn’t renounce his German heritage? He doesn’t have to be German.

More to the point, why would a guy descended from such horribleness actually volunteer to serve in the Bundeswehr (post-war German army)?

Even though we belong to same church, Uchtdorf and I don’t exactly travel in the same circles, so I have to guess about this. I’d guess he’s proud to be German and have served as a fighter pilot in the West German Air Force.

Should he hang his head in shame? Or does he tell himself — rightly so — that what Germans did a long time ago doesn’t change the kind of person he is today. Maybe sticking around was the best thing for him to do.

Makes sense to me. I don’t want to be something else. I’m comfortable being where I am.

That doesn’t sit well with people both in the church and out who arrogantly presume to tell me what I should do. Fortunately for me, the answer is the same for both groups. All else aside, I’d probably stay Mormon just to piss you off.

Robert Kirby can be reached at rkirby@sltrib.com or facebook.com/stillnotpatbagley.

On gaining a friendship

Kelly J. Niederhauser

Kelly and I are friends because we choose to be friends.  

We were not always such friends.  

We went to school together from K-12 and most often did not get along.  

We grew into friendship as adults. 

Elder Niederhauser and Nancy Hoffman Hing

 Kelley opened up our friendship when we were both on our missions. 

 Kelley wrote me a lovely letter which I cherish. 

Only now as an adult do I understand 

how I caused  this difficulty between us. 

I am grateful that he accepted my friendship.  

I learned much from Kelly.

Know that I truly love 

Kelley and will continue to mourn his departure 

until we meet again.