On Parenting and Fatherhood.

since my mothers passing....
                               I now parent my Father,

only those who have walked their path can understand.

I hope I am kind enough to my children that they will select a good care facility when my time comes.

Where my Father and I's journey will take us I cannot see now. I can only take one step into the darkness and hope wife and children will follow.

I have know for decades that my children need to see me honor my parents.

I need to honor my children, they are my legacy.

"And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon"

"And as I hung up the phone it occurred to me
He'd grown up just like me
My boy was just like me"
(Harry Chapin)

On The Flavor of Lipstick

 Essay

On the flavor of lipstick

October 12, 1989

I would not have believed the attraction that could be held for the flavor of lipstick.  It is bitter and yet so sweet.  It would never do as a topping for ice cream.  I am certain that Baskin Robbins will never use it, as they’re 32 flavor.   I have known children who have eaten it like candy, but I think it would generally be considered quite unappetizing.  I can only think of one group of people who would cherish its flavor and look forward to their next exposure.  They constitute a large portion of our society.   No those people are not crazed lunatics on the loose buying larger quantities of flaming red or passionate pink.  Most of the people who savor the flavor of lipstick never buy their own tubes.  Most often this habit is partaken in the company of another person who most likely purchased the product. 

I think it is the setting more then the actually taste of the product that leads so many of the people in this group to partake of its wonderful effervescence.  It is not always partaken of in public nor is it strictly saved for those more private moments.  It is often, those not always, partaken of in mixed company.  And like all things that brings true pleasure it lingers on long after its effects have washed away.  It lingers in the mind of the partaker as in the mind of the giver.

It reminds me of the story of a man who walked by a dairy and all he could smell is money.  The farmer had learned to associate the smell of the manure with the sight of the milk check at the end of the month.  For those who enjoy the flavor of lipstick it is more for the remembrance of the experience then for the affect on the taste buds.

For those who experience this pleasure later in life, it can be a mixed blessing, especially if it occurs with someone that is really special, someone who you seek to spend the rest of you life with.  It can cement the bonds of friendship into the kind of relationship the will last into eternity.

This is an essay I wrote on the night of Oct 12 1989.

I was kissed by my girlfriend Bonnie Frandsen 

for the first time. 

The next morning she agreed to marry me.